b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Failed » Post 69122 | Search
This is a question Failed

On my third driving test, I turned right out of the test centre, reached a pedestrian crossing, attempted to run over a little old lady, was prevented from doing so by the examiner grabbing the wheel, then proceeded straight back to the test centre.

The drive home was very, very quiet. I've never felt such a complete failure.

What have you failed at?

(, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 10:21)
Pages: Latest, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, ... 1

« Go Back

dismal dismal failure
i am a failure, and i often fail to recognise this. but when i think about it I realise that the biggest thing i've failed at so far is life. i'll start anywhere, as i've already failed at identifying where it all went wrong.
I failed to notice that my foreskin was attached to my bell end until i started masturbating aged 11 and a bit of it came away from the head making me think i had i hole in my penis. I went to the doctor, failing to get there on time, and then he pulled the rest away leaving me with a normal penis. I failed to resist crying from the pain. I failed to thank him, and when i got home i once again failed to ejaculate for the first time. I was in the bath at the time, failing to realise that 'stroking' your penis really meant tugging the hell out of it, and when after much stroking i thought the moment had come, a long stream of piss jetted upwards and onto my neck, i failed to find this funny.

when i eventually managed to ejaculate some time later on that year, i failed to realise it was sperm, assuming from all the diagrams that it would be black, and so went downstairs, probably stumbling a bit as i often failed at moving myself around successfully, and asked my dad if what had just come out of me was the right stuff. he failed to keep a straight face and told me yes it was sperm and to stop playing with myself. I failed to stop playing with myself. years on, at 28, i fail to stop playing with myself every morning of my life (which i'm failing at), which means i always fail to get out of bed on time, even though i've failed at having a time to get out of bed by, for i have failed to find a new job since failing at my last job, which involved packing pig livers in an abbatoir. They sacked me because i was a 'useless waste of space'.

another failure - I failed to notice that my grandmother had a cock until I lifted up her dress at the viewing before her funeral. I failed to bother telling anyone this until now, so here, today, I have perhaps succeeded at this. Perhaps this will give me enough hope that I won't attempt suicide today, which I probably would have failed to get aronud to anyway. Even if I did, i'd fail, so I suppose I won't ever bother. Shit, another success: failing to fail at failing suicide.

today feels like a minor triumph over many years of hell. thanks b3ta.

The only thing i haven't failed at yet is suicide
(, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 14:14, Reply)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 13, 12, 11, 10, 9, ... 1