Toys as big as your head.
I went to the annual fair many years ago, when I was approximately knee-high to a grasshopper. After generally running about screaming and scamming as much cash as I could out of my parents for fun & games I came across the obligatory “Shoot golf balls off their tees and win a prize” stall, to which my inner child (and presumably outer child) squealed with delight at. Shooting an air-rifle loaded with corks AND the chance to win a prize? Score.

Cue 9-year old me grabbing an air-rifle that was probably longer than I was, hastily loading it and taking a crack at the target. Surprisingly, the sights being so woefully miscued my shot went absolutely nowhere near where I was shooting. Thankfully. It hit just below the golf-balls and proceeded to knock four out of the five balls off. I was, needless to say, happy about this state of affairs. My next three shots were well placed and aimed at the golf ball, to absolutely no avail. Thankfully, before I fired the fifth, my cousin (two years older and had therefore qualified as an official font of knowledge) told me to aim absolutely near the target. Taking his advice, I shot the fifth golf-ball off and was duly presented with an (ridiculously) over-sized stuffed panda – I think the scale was probably close to 1:1. Magnificent.

To add to my celebrations, not only did my (older) brother (who incidentally went on to shoot for GB) only win a smaller stuffed toy, but his also got nicked by a pikey dog (clearly trained to retrieve stuffed toys that had been stowed away) whilst we were off gallivanting about later in the day, but couldn’t steal mine because it was simply too big!! Oh how I laughed.

Unfortunately, the day ended on a strangely sour note – being “gunged” by Noel Fucking Edmonds. Cunt.
( Hunter Stockton was murdered by a bicycle wielding axolotl,.,.,.,., Thu 9 Jun 2011, 14:20, Reply)