I saw collection of regular polyhedrons for transportation of rulers of a desert country into the afterlife.
This wasn't the sort of pharoground I was expecting.
(speedevil, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 3:51, Reply)

A fair that kicks you in the shins?
They should call it a Tearground.
( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Thu 16 Jun 2011, 3:04, Reply)

A fair that is a long way away from the carpark
Should be called a Far Ground









I hate myself
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 2:06, Reply)

A fair that does anything an American fair tells it to?
They should call it a TonyBlairground.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 2:04, Reply)

A fairground with wigs for prizes?
A hairground!


/off bandwagon
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 16 Jun 2011, 1:08, Reply)

Tivoli Gardens
If you are ever in Copenhagen, please take the opportunity to visit Tivoli Gardens; I heartily recommend it. It's a little pricey but Denmark generally is for visitors.

The park has a real charm to it which I have not found anywhere else and there is an other-worldly sense to it when you step off a busy city pavement into, what feels like, a space miles away.

There aren't masses of Nemesis-style rollercoasters but there are enough to keep up with modern tastes. I'm not big into these though so I'm probably not the best to judge. There was a rickety, old, wooden big dipper which was great to go on.

A lot of original features from the 19th Century remain throughout the gardens and buildings. There was an aquarium and commedia dell'arte (not the original cast though).

Food! The choice to eat is beyond anything you'd see in the UK. Fast food was to hand but that was the tip of the iceberg. It's the first theme park I'd seen with Michelin standard fare available.

If you are with your significant other, stay until evening when the sunsets and the park transforms with fairy lights appearing (tastefully, honest). You can whisk them off for a grope by one of the lakes as the firework show reflects off the surface.

All this whilst throwing endless pints of lager down my throat.
Best wedding anniversary ever.
( Pig Bodine., Wed 15 Jun 2011, 23:44, 1 reply)

A fairground on the south coast of Galway Bay
They should call it a CLAREground!!


Yes, it's the epitome of shit, but I have blueberry muffin ice-cream and it's somewhat lovely
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 22:45, Reply)

A fairground? With 80s girl's toys bearing faces showing displeasure, resembling an upturned smile?
More like a carebearfrownedground.

I'm so sorry.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 22:42, Reply)

A fairground for elves and fairies
They should call it a Feyground
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 22:21, Reply)

A fairground? With a bear?
They should call it a BEARground!!!
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 22:15, 1 reply)

A B3TA thread? Inhabited by unfunny cunts and wankers?
They should call it QOTW...
( ousgg is not seeking approval, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 19:10, 11 replies)

........puke,knees and rashes
Instance 1......Fresher year...Beered up..."YAY,let´s go on the umbrella ride"....14 seconds later,mescreams "LET ME OFF I´M GOING TO PUKE"....Carny Bastard keeps me on there for 4 long,gut-wrenching(especially for my seat companion) minutes...The Carny Bastard smirks as I get off,so I duly vomit at his feet.
Instance 2......3 years later....Beered up..."YAY,let´s go on the Pirate ship swingy thing"....30 seconds later my partner has vomited on me....mescreams "STOP THE RIDE"....Carny Bastard 2 keeps us on there for sufficient time that friends also vomit,cuing a "Family guy-esque pukefest.....Carny bastard 2 smirks as we get of,so my partner duly vomits on his shoes whilst trying to shout "FUCK YOU"...(it´s not easy,apparently)
Instance 3.....Some bloody theme park in Seville....Beered up...."YAY,let´s go on the logflume and then watch people get wet too!!"......Utter drenching and 3 mile walk home resulting in hideous nappy rash and 24 hours naked with a fan pointed directly at my sore,bleeding,cream-besoaked groin...
Instance 4....Majorca......Beered up....."YAY,let´s go on the dodgems"....Gypsy teenagers surround us like Tiger sharks....3 minutes of knee-crushing,vertebra-shattering,whiplash-inducing,smirkily-intentional head on collisions.....Limped off ride....Vomited on Carny Bastard 3´s shoes......(triumph?)
Fairgrounds are for heedless,mentally unstable,masochistic bastards.So I´ll see you all next week at Alton Towers then????
(shirleytemplesarse, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 18:25, 7 replies)

Went to a carnival once,
Every where I looked there were crowds of hippies with their long flowing locks, singing anti-Vietnam songs by James Rado and Gerome Ragni.

Can't remember what they called it though.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 17:50, 4 replies)

Song Dynasty Park
This place was a park in Hangzhou China that went from serine lily pad, tranquil family historical themed park, to a bat shit crazy theme park.

Let me explain.

(About 4 years ago) I arrived at the park about 2pm not sure what to expect - as the people I went with - didn't really speak English. Imagine a historical themed park Akin to Camelot or something along those lines. Respectable families would arrive in smart clothes. Men in suits (though this was kinda the daily dress code norm for any man in china as afar as I'm aware)

have a look at this for an idea of the place

www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5Ccz1dTt1A&NR=1


This is some of the only footage I have ever found of this place. For a while I wondered if I imagined it all.

anyway. Night fell, and I slowly noticed small stalls appearing everywhere selling water pistols and bowls. This was odd, as the only things up till then that you could buy in this place was traditionally made wooden sculptures and green tea.

For a laugh we buy some of these water pistols and we walk over to an area where people were converging and grouping. There must have been around 1000 people all milling around. I notice large open barrels filled with water dotted about the place, and (for some reason) several large canoe/boats filled with water (I know- stick with me on this though) (look at the video @ 5:36 for the dums and boat in the background)


It looked like we were about to be treated to a performance... this was proven correct as - differing to traditional history of China, a Hawaiian themed procession started before us, with people on chairs hoisted up in the air. Grass skirts etc. They walked around the audience and then through them and onto a platform and started to sing. Odd.

A man then marched into the crowd turned around with a bow an arrow, lit the arrow end, and fired it 40ft over the performers into a giant hole behind them. This lit a massive volcano like structure behind the performers.

What happened next I still to this day cant comprehend.

BOOM! The whole park went dark, strobe lights went on Dry Ice. Water jets from under our feet shot in the air

WATER FIGHT!!!!

With that Rave dance music blazed out of the PA system. And everyone darted to the boats/barrels with their water pistols/supersoakers/bowls

I instantly get it - and join in. Within 2-3 second I was soaked to the bone.

I really cant convey how weird it is to see Chinese people - of all ages - I'm talking 80yr old women included here- having a water fight with you. T

**TAP TAP on your shoulder** turn around… WOOOOSH as you take 4 litres of water into your face… behind your eyes, down your throat through your nose, you get your sight back - it’s a 70 yr old man in a very soaked suit. He laugh and runs off..

**Tap Tap ** again you turn around….WOOSH an other bucket of water in your face, full force, you catch your breath and realise everyone is doing it and your not being singled out. You instantly realise you have to get someone….

Fill your bowl

You spot someone next to you unware of you… this time its youwho Tap tap's

Woosh - you get the chinese man back.

And so on - for another hour.

I was ill for a few days after that, as they used the water from the pond that you see on the clip above… not very clean but brilliant fun.

Sorry for length - im still to meet someone who has done this, or taken pictures.

Edit: found a picture of the volcano
www.chinatravelguide.com/ctgwiki/Image:Hangzhou_Song_Dynasty_City_5.jpg
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:37, 1 reply)

A pun? A really strained and unfunny pun?
They should have called it a
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
wait for it
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
honestly ... it's worth the scrolling ... you'll love this
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
tee hee hee
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
FUCK OFF
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:20, 18 replies)

A fairground non-pc about gay men?
They should call it a Fairyground
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:18, Reply)

A fairground? All that distance away?
They should call it a FARground!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:16, Reply)

A Fairground themed around a bald fighty Monk?
They should call it a FriarGround
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 16:06, Reply)

A fairground? With those upper-middle-class picnic hampers?
They should call it a FAYREground!!!!!!!!!!!!
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:56, Reply)

A place where they overcharge you and pack you in a fastmoving deathrap
They should call it a RyanAIRGROUND!
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:53, Reply)

With the amount of Phoney traders, hustlers, and conmen
They should call it a FAKEGround
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:34, Reply)

Fairground? With all that empty space?
They should call it a BAREground!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Dinosaur Land in Norfolk
There's an 80' long fibreglass dinosaur, the "Climbasaurus" that's got stairs in it's feet to get in, and a slide out of it's arse to get out.

It's essentially a climbing frame inside, but with floors to create 3 or 4 levels of pure hell. And about 4 portholes for ventilation.

I went in to retrieve my two lads and was confronted with at least 100 screaming, sweaty and hyperactive children crawling around like maggots in a carcass.

On the search for my offspring I found one poor attendant : a girl of around 16, sitting in the middle, with a "Kill me now" look on her face.

God only knows what she did to get that duty...
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 15:26, 3 replies)

With the amount of scrapping that goes on...
They should call it the allsFairinloveandwarGround
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:46, Reply)

Fairground? With no lifts?
They should call it a STAIRground!!!!
(Blunt Logic, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Fairground? With those boring stalls?
They should call it a fairGRIND!!!!!!!!!!!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:19, 2 replies)

Talking of Dodgems
A friend of mine from a young age was obsessed with them, he had pictures of them on his wall and traveled for miles to spend hours on end riding them. I often wondered why his parents spent the time and money on such an obscure and dead end hobby.

As soon as my friend was sixteen he ran off and joined the fair and trained from a grease monkey up to dodgem controller.

One fateful day there was a nasty crash involving a little girl and an old lady , my friend got the blame (even though he was off that day) and was sacked. My friend came round crying to my house and asked how he could get his dream job back.

I suggested he sued them for fun-fare dismissal.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 14:16, 5 replies)

Back in Norfolk where I grew up...you HAD to make a float for the parade
(yes, yes...etc) A highlight of the village would be the 'parade' consisting of a few trailers being pulled through the high street. My dear old Nan would always rope us into putting together a 'float' every year to support the WI.

Since the budget was about 4.50 and most of them were too old to do much on the float other than sit (and kinda hoped we'd bound them tightly enough to their chairs), we became quite 'creative'.

One year we managed to line them up on their chairs so they (very loosely) spelled 'Bum' when they took the bird's eye pic from the clocktower on the way by.

Oh, how we laughed.
(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:54, 3 replies)

Carnival? With those pikey's they should call it a CUNTival

(Galahad is out of his gourd on yellow bentines, Wed 15 Jun 2011, 13:44, Reply)