Oakwood Deathtrap...um Park
A good few years back around the age of me late teens a few of us decided to borrow our mate's work van and high-tail it on a nice day out to Oakwood Park. For those of you un-educated in Welsh "entertainment" this was Wales's version of Alton Towers, except it wasn't even a poor 2nd compared to the illustrious qualities of the modern-day theme park (possibly).

About 6 of us were in the back of a transit and drinking heavily (except for the designated driver, we were good boys) and arrived at the park on a rare sunny day. We wear sunglasses and speak quietly at the ticket desk as to avoid being banned from entering (as some of us were a bit halfcut by the time we got there) and stumbled around the park looking for "fun". A few laughs driving the go-kart circuit pissed and a few turns on the big wooden roller coaster didn't really impress us (apart from one of the lads totalling a go-kart into the pit-lane while shouting "Weeeeeeeeeee" and getting banned from that activity for the rest of the day). We were bored, and a bit drunk to boot.

Then we spied it. Possibly the most unsafe ride in the park, although it looked normal enough when sober, let alone pissed. The Pirate Ship.

"Lesssss go 'n' that thing" mutters one of the drunks, so we all queue up and clamber onto the thing while it's stationary. We decide to sit on one of the back seats, so we'd be looking straight down at the highest point of the ride. There was something a bit odd about this ride though; there was no harnesses or shoulder straps to hold you in. You had a bar which dropped down and stopped literally above me knees. It barely held me in where I sat. Uh oh...

The ship started swinging, and in my drunk state I realized that this bar may not actually be enough to keep me in. As it got higher and higher on each swing I was starting to slip out from under the bar. I clasped my arms around the bar and tried clamping my legs into the foothold, so my arse and feet were wedged firmly onto the seat, and at the apex of the highest point I was literally hanging on for dear life, at the point where I would fall out. After a good minute of this the ride started slowing down and eventually stopped. Even after it stopped though I was still clamped into my seat, scared shitless and vowing never to go on that again.

A few years after this a similar thing happened there that made the news; Death at Oakwood Park. I doubt she was pissed up though :( Although with that tragic accident she collided with a small boy from Swansea, who's parents used to be a customer in an old computer shop where I worked and he was a right little cunt.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 18:27, Reply)