family
I've faked a family, specifically my children.

You see, I have a weakness. Its 'Love Hearts' - you know the Refresher(tm) type sweets. I just love the feel of them dissolving my teeth. The only place near me is the co-op that I use when I need the odd item. Its staffed with rather young but quite fit, chavvy teenage girls from the estate.

Every time I go in to buy a loaf of bread or something, I grab a couple of packs of Love Hearts. When it gets to me in the queue I always have to, and I cant stop myself, say something like "tut, the kids just love these, they'll rot their teeth though!" to the look of utter indifference. I have actually said more directly, "these arent for me, they're for the kids".

I am such a gay.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 14:44, 6 replies)

You think that's gay?
A mate of mine shelled out a small fortune on some sort of silver love-heart from some wedding company. Not unusual (I'm sure), but he bought it for a bird he'd only been seeing for a fortnight.

She dumped him a few days later, saying he was too full on.

And he was.

And he took back the love heart.

And he's still single.

Mullered.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:09, closed)

even gayer
was a friend of mine once saying "You've got a girlfriend? Youre not coming round this weekend to play GTA for 48 hours? Youre spending time with a girl? Thats so GAY."
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:12, closed)

^ but that is gay
how dare you chose a girl over playstation beer and manliness (its almost time to go home to the wife!)
(pogo_it, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 16:32, closed)

There is nothing quite as manly
as drinking a bottle of stella, eating a medium cheese pizza and pointing out the position of enemies to your mates as they play Call of Duty 4.

It practically qualifies as being in the SAS.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 16:47, closed)

...
I do the same thing when I buy booze at my local
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 1:21, closed)

It's all about
the parma violets.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 15 Jul 2008, 10:43, closed)