I'll keep it short...
...sweet and vitriolic:

Elton John
So you decided you were gay Elton. So what? Big f*cking deal. Not big news these days I’m afraid. We accept it and we're not shocked by it. Nobody gives a f*ck that you were pally with Princess Diana, and that you re-wrote that God-awful song of yours about Marilyn Monroe in her memory, dick boy. No-one cares about your illustrious musical career (c’mon, who actually likes your music – and not in an ironic way?), and that you are friends with the rich and famous, the movers and shakers, and the c*nts of the day? You Queen it up big style in a ‘Look-at-me-I’m-gay-and-proud-and-what-are-you-going-to-do-about-it?’ manner. What am I going to do about it Elton? Ignore you, that’s what. That’s one action ‘look-at-me’ c*nts like you detest.

Adam Woodyatt & Pam St Clement
One morning your phone rings. It’s your agent. They’ve just got you a gig in Eastenders. Bring it on, you think to yourself. Twenty years later there you still are, treading the boards and beaming into the TV sets of millions four nights a week. People shout your character’s name in the street when they see you. They sympathise with your character when they hit rock bottom. They berate you when your character performs a misdeed. They cannot separate fact from fiction. They do not realize that you are just pretending. However, because you have decided for an easy life and easy payday, you suddenly realize that your Eastenders characters have become personas of yourselves. ie. c*nts.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 5 Feb 2010, 23:43, 1 reply)

Elton John is great!
That is all.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Mon 8 Feb 2010, 16:02, closed)