Too many to mention, but I'll have a go at a select few....
Vernon Kaye

*Why* is Vernon Kaye? What is his purpose on this earth? He's not obviously a huge cunt, but he is consistently associated with the very worst things on TV, gawping and gurning his way through such atrocities as "Girls and Boys" (which Charlie Brooker once memorably described as "an Al Qaeda recruitment poster"). Thing is, TV is a competitive business, and you can't get where he has got to if you are as really as thick as his persona appears to be. That means he's doing it on purpose. He is therefore a cunt of the highest order.

Cilla Black

EVERYTHING about Cilla Black drives me into a rage. This is a woman so sheltered and showbiz that she went on Room 101 and included "food that isn't wrapped in clingfilm" as one of her hates - yes, she's actually properly phobic about food that one of her lackeys hasn't ensured is never exposed to the air. Professional Scouser, always first to be a rent-a-gob whenever Liverpool is badmouthed (note to the people of Liverpool: maybe if you gave some thought as to why Liverpool is badmouthed so often you wouldn't have to leap to its defence all the time), despite living in a mansion in Henley. And she eats orange slices with Oxo cubes spread on them. That's just wrong.

Ralf Little

Somewhere in the UK, maybe right now, a likeable, witty, charismatic and talented young man slumps in his tattered wicker chair in his damp-riddled bedsit. His dreams are in tatters. For years he has struggled to carve out a career in showbusiness, only to be thwarted at every turn by the army of arseholes that composes the entertainment industry. He is and always will be a nice guy, and simply can't bring himself to descend to the arse-kissing/back-stabbing depths necessary to succeed. In his despair he turns on the TV...

...and sees the face of Ralf Little.

He pushes the plunger on the massive heroine overdose plugged into his femoral artery.

Peter Mandleson

Congratulations Peter, thanks to your 12-year campaign of unremitting evil, the UK is now twinned with the Death Star. Well done.

---

BONUS TIP: not-yet-famous person you will hate in the future

Sean Sullivan

Google him. I won't say how I know him, but, trust me, I do. I won't say why I hate him, do your own research and form your own conclusions. He is the Conservative PPC for Tottenham at the next election. He will become an MP, he will become a cabinet minister. You will hate him. HATE him, as I do, as does anyone who has ever met him who isn't a Tory politician who he's sucking up to. Start hating him now, it's going to save you a lot of time in about 10 years time.
(Axeman Jim, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 1:03, 3 replies)

I forget Vernon Kay, he of the tanned skin, shit-eating grin and miles of white enamel.

Fuck him and June Sarpong straight in the bin....
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 8:16, closed)

Anyone who earns the nickname Prince Of Darkness from Private Eye
Has to be pretty cool in my book. He's defninitely got superpowers of some sort, has Mandy.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 10:19, closed)

Mr Sullivan
www.conservatives.com/People/Prospective_Parliamentary_Candidates/Sullivan_Sean.aspx

All he needs is a paper and a croissant. That is one self satisfied shit eating grin
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Tue 9 Feb 2010, 18:54, closed)