Ant and fucking Dec
I haven't got a TV and so I manage to miss most of what passes for entertainment these days. But recently I saw this pair of pricks doing their schtick and it made me wonder.

Why?

A couple of monkeys would be more engaging. They're so anodyne, they're the distilled water of TV presenting. Moon-faced, bland, unremarkable - they almost cancel each other out like some kind of bizarre equation. It's like watching air.

And yet, despite all of their inoffensiveness (or because of it), I dream of crucifying them with red hot nails. They represent the utter void that popular entertainment has become: a democratised soup of platitudes and ephemera - a children's story for retards.

And let's not forget the atrocity that was PJ and Duncan. The perpetrators of that seething splat of musical shite are now two of TV's highest paid faces. I say faces, but I mean faeces: masks of gurning desperate yearning to be liked.

I don't like you. I despise you both.
(JessicaJugs, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 19:25, 3 replies)

yes
amen, sister.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 19:35, closed)

Use of the word 'ephemera' provides enough of a basis to make this click-worthy.

Also, I concur entirely.
(anvil, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 21:56, closed)

Dial
09806 12 54 01 to kill Ant
09806 12 54 02 to kill Dec

Not that it matters a fuck because they'll both be in the bahamas spending the 3 quid a text they robbed from your mobile bill like a pair of simpering fucktards.
(Suomi_Finland_Perkele knocking 256 shades of shit out of your screen on, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 22:28, closed)