Cold, dead eyes.
Back in the carefree and innocent days of my childhood I lived in a cottage in a tiny village.
This cottage was next door to the church, so as a result my family got to know the vicar, Reverend Jack, fairly well, despite not being congregation members.

As a general rule I'm not a fan of religious-types, I just don't really "get" it, but this vicar was different. He used to play guitar, wear a Stetson and ride a motorbike. Pretty cool to a seven-year-old.

Anyway, there was a bit of excitement in our village because someone that Reverend Jack used to live with was coming to visit the church, and he was famous!

Nothing much ever happened in our part of the world, what with it being the middle of nowhere. I found out that the special visitor was a famous singer, and that the television and newspapers would be there. I was determined that I'd get famous too.

The day of the famous visitor dawned, and I got dressed and ran out into the churchyard.
There were loads of people there from the surrounding villages, men with big cameras and even a policeman!
Then a car pulled up and everyone got excited.
A man got out and walked towards the church. Towards me. And I didn't like him.

He looked waxy and strange, a bit like my great aunt had when I saw her in her coffin.
He had creepy eyes too. They were cold and dead, a bit like the eyes in the poisoned rat I'd found behind the garage.
The creepiest thing about him was his mouth.
He was smiling far too widely, with too many teeth, which were too white.
I was expecting someone cool and exciting, like a man in a leather jacket in a sports car. Not a horrible, skinny walking dead man who smiled too much.

The scary man walked right up to me and smiled extra-wide. Like a shark or a wolf. I thought that he was going to eat me. Then he put his hand on my shoulder. I started crying, and ran away.

I never got to see Cliff Richard play his "exclusive set". To be fair, I don't feel like I missed out on much.
( Cawl, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 10:25, 2 replies)

I always thought that there was something wrong with him!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 10:55, closed)

Great post...

I reckon you had a lucky escape there...what with the Cliff / kiddie fiddler rumours and everything.

Then again, knowing you as I do, maybe it was Cliff that was the lucky one...?

*Clicks aplenty*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 20 Apr 2009, 11:43, closed)