It’s cold outside, there’s no kind of atmosphere…
In 1998 I worked for a few months at Bristol Airport in the newsagents and behind the bar. It was a really shit job but you did get to serve the occasional famous person. Most of the cast of “Casualty” came through at some point (especially the day they were filming there), Acker Bilk, Paul McGann (of Withnail fame) and various sporting types. To be honest I didn’t give a monkeys, it was interesting selling Paul McGann a Daily Mail as I had to fight the urge to shout “Scrubbers!” in his face (yes I know it was Richard E Grant who said it, but I always laugh at that bit).

One day I was bored out of my trolley manning the till in the departure lounge shop and I heard an unmistakeable Liverpudlian accent, I thought to myself “That sounds just like Craig Charles”. It was Craig Charles, “The Last Human”, Lister him-very-self. Now lets get one thing straight, I love the first few series of “Red Dwarf”, my older brother used to record them for me as they were on past my bedtime and I can probably quote various episodes line for line. This was a big deal for me.

He came into the shop and started browsing the books. I thought “sod it, I have to say hello” so I left the little cubicle I had to stand in and approached Mr. Charles with my hand extended…did he run away? Did he tell me to fuck off? Did he call his aide over to tell me to fuck off? No. He shook my hand and happily chatted to me for a few minutes. He asked me how Robert Llewellens book “The man at platform five” was selling; I informed him that I hadn’t sold a copy. He genuinely looked disappointed. I asked him what he had been doing recently and he told me he had just finished recording “Robot Wars”. Shamefully I said “oh” in a disappointed voice (I vowed there and then to watch the entire series). We even shared a joke when I pointed out that normally the security staff didn’t get off their fat arses, but since he had been in the shop they had walked by about ten times. He said he gets that a lot.

He bought a paper and left. I was on cloud 9. Craig Charles had taken the time to chat to me and he was a thoroughly nice guy. Just when I didn’t think he could go up in my esteem any more he came back in the shop and bought Robert Llewellens book. Class.

Sorry that went on a bit, but he really was a nice man and it made my day that he took time out to talk to a till monkey, especially when you consider the fact that he is probably mobbed by Red Dwarf fans on a daily basis. I was sad to hear about his drug problems and angry at the tabloids for splashing his misery across thier front pages.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 10:58, 13 replies)

It's easy to forget celebrities are humans and have bad days just like us.
.
( girlinthehole, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 11:05, closed)

Indeed.
I'm not normally star struck, but meeting Craig Charles was great.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 11:11, closed)

*cough*
'cocaine rapist Craig Charles', if you don't mind.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 11:34, closed)

From wiki
"In 1994, Charles and a friend were arrested and remanded in custody for several months on a rape charge. In February 1995, both Charles and his friend were acquitted in their trial."

"Charles blamed his relapse into drug use on the death of his father, combined with the bitterness stemming from being falsely accused of rape."

So not a rapist, and like many people he self medicated for his depression.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 13:03, closed)

Not a *convicted* rapist then
By your reckoning OJ Simpson not a murderer, then?

Nothing beats the Craig Charles Manchester to London taxi porn-mags-and-crack-a-thon story though. Almost makes him funny, that...

*remembers his execrable 'street poetry' on Saturday Live and dies a little inside once again*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 13:54, closed)

Look, I dont really want to get into an argument
and i'm sure Mr Charles doesnt need me fighting his corner...

...but no, he is not a rapist, and OJ has been found guilty of murder in the US civil courts.

So just to recap: Craig Carles (not a rapist), OJ Simpson (Convicted murderer).

Now sod off.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 14:25, closed)

I'm surprised
you didn't tell me to smeg off.

*dies laughing*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 14:31, closed)

Yeah, sorry about that
mondays bring out the internet cunt in me
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 14:39, closed)

I forget who said/wrote it
but a certain show/publication (Viz? Private Eye? Have I got News For You?) used to refer to him as "the non-rapist Craig Charles" whenever his name cropped up.

*click for a nice story though, Takeshi's Castle wouldn't be the same without him*
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 14:20, closed)

I think the expression is "Muck sticks"
he will never shake off the rape charge, despite being acquitted.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 14:27, closed)

it'd be much better
the very silly version the americans show is miles better than his tired effort.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Mon 20 Apr 2009, 14:36, closed)

Great post
loved it, sounds like a decent enough fella, this Mr. Charles. Loved the first few seasons of Red Dwarf, me.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 12:29, closed)

Cheers
He was a top bloke, took the time to talk to a minimum wage till monkey when all he really wanted to do was buy a paper.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 13:01, closed)