John Noakes dog sex frenzy
John Noakes was coming to our youth club to do some filming for Blue Peter.

John bloody Noakes!

Better still, he was bringing Shep along, and they were going to film the dog training class. The dog training class that my mum went to with Snoopy - the worst-behaved Beagle-cross-Labrador-cross-Maniac on the planet.

For the days leading up to the event, I pleaded and pleaded with her take the evil pup instead of her, for through Noakes - if I got into his good books - lay the road to the real mother lode - Val Singleton.

In the end, and for a quiet life, she caved in and I turned up on the appointed day ready for some red hot Noakes action.

The man himself turned up in his Triumph Stag, donned the holy BP badge, and after a few jocular 'Get down Sheps', the class began.

It didn't last long.

Imagine - if you will - the frenzied cry of a young teen as his dog slipped his collar. Imagine, too, a sound effect that went something like:

"Nnnnnyeeeeeeee-ooooooooooow! FLUPP!"

...being the sound of Beagle-cross-Labrador-cross-Maniac connecting with Britain's top TV presenter and giving his leg the rogering of its life.

There was a stunned silence, before the great man looked me in the eye and said "Don't just stand there - gerrim off me leg".

Words I treasure to this day.

The youth club windows were crowded with local kids and hangers-on watching my downfall, who jeered mercilessly as I was ordered out by the producer and told I'd never work in broadcasting ever again.

But who cares? John Noakes! My dog actually shagged John bloody Noakes!

And hot piss! It's the original long version of this tale I wrote six years ago: Click-u-like
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 19:55, 8 replies)

I can't believe...

...you left it this late to drop this gem on us!

*Clicks like a frenzy*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 21 Apr 2009, 21:06, closed)

I was on holiday
...and missed out on all the fun.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 21:15, closed)

Ah,
I was hoping you had a story for this one.
Nicely done!
*click*
( Cawl, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 22:06, closed)

See you slipped that in five mins before kick-off
Fuck me, what a match.

Great story too, have a click.
(Capo, Tue 21 Apr 2009, 22:49, closed)

Valerie Singleton
You were barking up the wrong tree there*. She drinks from the furry cup.

*Oops I made a pun.
(Pill Popper Thank you Sasha Shulgin, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 3:37, closed)

I am afraid you are misinformed...
www.guardian.co.uk/media/2008/jun/24/television.gayrights
(Studentken is looking for motivation on, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 9:31, closed)

Marvellous!
Ha! Think I'll have to go and have a bit of breather now before I meet my client; doesn't look good if you've got tears in your eyes from laughing so much. Cheers.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 9:38, closed)

I met John and Shep once
I would have made a proper QOTW post but its a pretty dull story involving the opening of a Building Society. Carry on.
(kebabking - salad and garlic mayo pls, Wed 22 Apr 2009, 12:22, closed)