* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Evil Veggie Farts of Doom +10I'm a veggie, and a weight trainer. Consequently i eat huge amounts of food, as high in protein as possible. Lots and lots of TVP (soya mince), lentils, chick peas, various beans.
My most flatulence-inducing recipe is my very own soya mince chilli, which i typically eat far too much of. I am literally farting every three or four minutes for the next 24 hours after a large plate of this. Large, loud and most of all horiffically pungent ones.
I have the most noxious farts on earth. Actually i rather like them, they are strangely conforting in their intensity. But no-one else agrees with me, especially the Mrs. and especially in bed.
I have had too many farting debacles to relate them all, and i would be largely repeating myself with every story.
I'll just briefly relate a few of my crowning glories, which can be verified by independant witnesses:
1) Farting in my friend's recently decorated lounge. He phoned me up two days later and told me he could still smell it.
2) Farting outside on a windy day, and still having people running to get away from it.
3) After farting practically continuously, getting thrown out of my friend's house because the room was now "full up".
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100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 13 Jul 2007, 16:42,
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