* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
« Go Back
Stoned fartingI recently broke my arm quite badly, so I've been indulging in a fair bit of the green goodness to pass the time. It's also due to the fact that I was forced to quite smoking - apparently smoking damages bones, but then it seems to damage everything and everyone. Went outside for a cheeky spliff, halfway through I started feeling really sick. I was actually getting a bit upset, it was good weed and I was a bit stoned already. I thought I was feeling sick because having given up smoking the small amount of tobacco in my spliff was making me feel awful. I carried on regardless - waste not want not - and contemplated having to use my pipe from now on, as I don't really want to start smoking cigarettes again.
Familiar sensation somewhere around the midsection.
Gurgling feeling slightly lower.
Sickness starts to crescendo.
Toke on the spliff to calm myself down.
Cramped up and bent over, spliff is relentlessly glued between my fingers.
Start to think about calling an ambulance.
Cheeks part.
Blast of Satan's breath squeezes through, I'm glad I was outside or I might have discoloured the wallpaper. Lasted for a decent 20-25 seconds.
Sickness, worry, dire pain, all vanish soon afterwards.
Finish my spliff and skip inside giggling like a horny schoolgirl.
(
Rookie You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel, Sat 14 Jul 2007, 1:37,
Reply)
« Go Back