* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Ah...When I first met my girlfriend, I was particularly shy about farting in her presence. I was keen to impress, and I didn't think that letting rip would be the key to her heart. Two and a half years on, I'm more than making up for lost farts, and I now go out of my way to make sure she takes the full force of my offers.
For example, I called round her parent's house, only to see her in the garden crouched in front of one of the dogs. Her back was facing me so I thought this would be an excellent opportuniy to release a fart I'd been saving for her all day. So with all my stealth, I crept up, turned around and sat on her shoulders, pinning her to her knees. I flatuated with such force there were tremours in my legs, and the volume was enough to drown out the screams of anguish. I then brought my legs in front of her, locking her head in my thighs, and produced another stormer.
No sooner had I finished, my girlfriend calmly asked, "What on earth are you doing?" Imagine my surprise to find my her standing in front of me, and her mother's head between my legs.
This was two months ago, and I've been too scared to visit her parents since.
(, Sat 14 Jul 2007, 17:20, Reply)
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