How?
I was once sent for tests as I had suspected IBS (it turned out to be stress related due to my boss being a complete and utter mentalist. Luckily he's got cancer now and I regularly ring him and laugh till I cry at him, but that's another story).
I was on a residue-free diet for a week (jelly sweeties and lime juice cordial Yay!)before the actual day of the endoscopy. Having deposited my clothes and the shreds of my dignity in a locker and donned the hospital gown I was given an enema by two overweight sweaty nurses (something one could pay good money for in Soho, but I digress). After I had held this for as long as I could, I deposited the last greenish slimy contents of my bowel into the pan. I thought I was COMPLETELY empty. The endoscopy required inflation of my bowel during the procedure. Once The huge camera (I swear it had a tripod on it,really I do)was removed I was advised that "it may be necessary for you to release the inflation". Well No Shit Sherlock! I was in agony and then...............I released a trump of saturn V rocket takeoff proportions. It was mag-frickin-nificent. Long, tuneful and buttock wobbling, most satisfying.
Then I saw the result. I had shot a completely intact beansprout directly onto the head of the endoscopist. There it nestled in its glory, completely fresh and pristine looking. I hadn't the heart (or indeed the balls) to tell said endoscopist that I'd shot a beansprout into his immaculately coiffed hair, so I made my excuses and left, his rejoinder of "don't be embarrased, everyone does it afterwards, it's quite normal" ringing in my ears. How he explained a beansprout in his hair, God only knows, but how had it stayed in my bowel after a week of no real food AND an enema?
Other than that, I can verify the foulness of FD's arse in pooflake's posts, FD's an animal.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 17:22, Reply)