* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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I've FartedMy mother had the vicar and the vicar's wife to tea
They cleared the room, they blamed it on the dog
But it was - me!
I've farted, I've farted,
I've made a trouser cough
I've whistled in my Y-fronts
I've just peeled one off
I've blown my bowel bugle
I've been eating peas
I've broken wind
I've dropped my guts
Open the window please
I've been eating cabbages, prunes and pears and beans
Drinking Dandelion & Burdock, and you know what that means
Polluting the environment, my friends leave me alone
The front of me sings tenor and the rest sings baritone
I've farted, I've farted,
I've made a trouser cough
I've whistled in my Y-fronts
I've just peeled one off
I've blown my bowel bugle
I've been eating peas
I've broken wind
I've dropped my guts
Open the window please
Bubbles in the bath!
Real rip snorters!
Up on one cheek and hope it don't make a noise.
Window rattlers!
Cushion creepers!
Don't shake your leg and keep it in your corduroys!
A gentleman tells before it smells, he waves his jacket 'til it's gone
But I'm the kind of sneaky bugger, who lets off and doesn't let on
I let them go in lifts, in queues, in phone-boxes and trains
And when they stink, the people blink and blame it on the drains
I've farted, I've farted,
I've made a trouser cough
I've whistled in my Y-fronts
I've just peeled one off
I've blown my bowel bugle
I've been eating peas
I've broken wind
I've dropped my guts
Open the window please
I say, have you farted?
Of course I have - d'you think I always smell like this?
(, Tue 17 Jul 2007, 1:05, Reply)
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