* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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poison dwarfs grannyI was on my best behaviour 'off to see granny'
so I drove for hours and hours, only as we knock on the door, the poison dwarf ses: Oh BTW granny farts a bit-but we don't mention it...
we go in. Granny gets up; hellfarp!o how are farp!you? farp! and I'm busting a gut trying not to laugh, 'would you farp! like some Tea? farp!' So I hide in the bog for about five trying to think of drowning puppies or testicular cancer, anything serious like the phone bill.
oh there you farp! are, I've farp! poured you some farp! tea.
my hands are jiggling, there's tea in my saucer, tea on my jeans,
let me farp! get a cloth for you farp! and she farted every step of the way there and back to the kitchen. little old lady fruity farps & I'm avoiding the poison ones eyes cos she's looking really pissed off at my red face and the tears streaming down my cheeks and she hisses; god you are so juvenile! and that only makes it worse...
we stay for lunch and granny farter is doing courgettes for us. I'd managed to calm down some-mainly cos she'd sat and the cushion was acting as a silencer, when she said: 'the courgettes are from our garden would you like me to cut you some cheese?'
& I was gone, collapsed on the floor like a pissed on cat....
I never got invited back. don't know why, & me & the poison dwarf went our seperate ways
lenght= eternity & back
(, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 16:59, Reply)
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