* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Underground WarfareWaiting at a Victoria line underground station with the first Mrs Vambo, I took advantage of the covering noise of the approaching train to discharge a nasty fart. I realised at once it was a mistake as it was a real hummer and smelt like nasty chemicals mixed with raw sewage. I got a withering look and an elbow to the ribs from the missus.
The carriage we were in had only one other occupant, she was a rather prim and proper looking lady in her 40s and was seated at the far end of the facing bench seat. Halfway between Highbury & Islington and Kings Cross, the pressure built up and as the train passed over a rough bit of track, I accidentally released a small amount of gas. “Oh well” I thought, “I may as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb” and so discharged the remainder which felt like a string of walnuts 3 feet long.
The air in the carriage turned yellow as the dense, foul gas spread out. It was a real choker!! My wife looked horrified and then started giggling. The woman diagonally opposite looked like she was in pain as she clasped her handkerchief over her nose and mouth. At Kings Cross, we leapt out and left the remaining occupant gasping for breath!
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Vambo, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 11:24,
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