Wacken 2007
It was the third year I'd been there. Each year the bands who were playing were better and better.

The third year I didn't like any of the bands. So I dedicated myself to drinking myself into oblivion. Nothing quite beats sitting in a deckchair in the blazing sun with a bottle of Pina Colada that cost less than a quid!

Well the day turned into night and I was still drinking. I vaguely remember kissing a girl who was camping near our group at some point. After that things are very blurry so I will go on what I was told to fill in the next parts.

I started drinking bottles of lager, which I hate with a passion normally reserved for Bobby Davro! Then I started smashing the bottles and telling everyone in the near vicinity that smashed bottles are the best bottles because they can't steal your soul then!

Then the young lady from earlier sat by me. At which point we both ate each others faces until I said in I imagine my best Roger Moore voice "I'm off to bed, you coming or what?"

I'll skip forward to where I remember things. I awoke in my tent, there was a girl next to me. Wearing my shirt! I was completely naked. With blood under my fingernails. AND ALL OVER MY CROTCH!

What the fuck had happened? I woke her up, asking her why the hell I looked like I'd been shagging a disembowled chicken. Was she a virgin?

"Oh no, I came on yesterday!"

At this point I asked the most important question I have ever asked and fortunately got an answer in the negative.

"Is there any blood on my face?"

Then I made her leave my tent and wept for a good hour!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 13:47, 1 reply)

I've never...
been witness to such a thing, but I've had the following conversation with my gf recently:

"you really shouldn't..."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm, y'know..."
"Oh! Erm...does it...alot?"
"Uh huh"
*very quickly withdraw hand*
(suicidalducky has too much time on his hands, Sat 6 Jun 2009, 6:46, closed)