Glastonbury idiocy
First time, so be gentle with me. EDIT: Actually, sod that. Rough me up a bit.

Stumbling around one of the drier Glastonbury festivals at about 3am my mate Dave comes across an attractive young lady holding a pair of handcuffs. ‘Let me cuff you to the flag pole and we can play for a bit’ she asks with a seductive wink that suggests naughtiness and much shenanigans. Now Dave is not a smart cookie at the best of times, but when he’s got so many illicit substances in him that he rattles like a bottle of paracetamol, he’s the kind of guy that jumps into the Thames or climbs a building for a laugh. Even so, he still declines the generous offer, figuring at best his girlfriend will cut his nuts off.

Staggering back the same way at 6am he sees a very forlorn looking chap, shoulders slumped and trouserless, handcuffed to the very same flagpole. ‘Can you let me out of here please mate? Some bitch stole my wallet.’

What a muppet.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Thu 4 Jun 2009, 16:55, Reply)