Car keys
The end of Download '06 was one of my worst experiences ever.

For the record, and for legal purposes I should explain that I have had many good experiences of the Scottish security in general. It just seems they were complete bastards at download festival.

Anyone who was there will know about the 'riots' that consisted of a few people burning bins and shouting a lot, whilst dressed in black.

Basically it gave the Glaswegian security a chance to kick the piss out of a bunch of drunkards. Which is always fun.

We were oblivious to all of this as we were happily chugging beer at our tents, after checking out a rather amusing set from Guns and Roses. All was well. My friend Ben remembered he had a crate of warm beers left in the boot of my car, and was thusly heavily encouraged to go and aquire said warm ale, so we could introduce it to our faces post haste.

I thought nothing of giving him my car keys as the siren song of beer was too hard to resist. plus I'd been encouraged to try ketamine at the time, which as i remember was like sitting in a warm, soft cloud of 'I don't give a fuck'.

Ben merrily went on his way and we carried on, still oblivious to the carnage that was happening on the way. By this point, they had sectioned off each campsite, and there were rows of police officers with dogs at the entrance to the site, whilst the aforementioned Scottish security were seemingly, randomly hitting people who had the audacity to be existing at that point in time and space.

By the time it was dawn, we realised something was afoot as our friend hadn't returned so we walked to the path and discovered that there was in fact bad juju afoot. police and dogs were parading around, with security pushing and shoving anyone in the way telling them to pack up and fuck off. A marvelous end to the festival. There in the midst of it all was Ben, being tackled to the ground, screaming like a bastard and swinging for his life.

I'll cut this short here as it's getting long.

Cue to 4 or 5 hours later, after a bit of sleep amidst the mayhem. Ben had not returned, neither had my keys.

We packed up and left, to find my car. Out of the bushes next to it emerges Ben, wet, cold, shaking and red eyed. He had lost my keys.

The urge to punch his beard of his face was overpowered by the sheer pity I felt looking at him. He looked like an abandoned dog, as he had to spend the night outside in the bushes next to the car park (crying probably), where it pissed it down for about 3 hours solid.

We had to wait in what turned out to be blazing sunshine for about 8 hours for a tow truck to take the car home, who then attempted to charge us £90 a wheel to lift it as the handbrake was on. Who, when we explained our unfortunate lack of £360 to piss away, and offering to smash the easily replaceable window to remove the handbrake, magically remembered he could break in and do it for free.... Fucking chancer.

Anyways, that is why I now never drive to festivals.

Or exist near Scottish security.

Or like Ben.
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Sat 6 Jun 2009, 11:48, 1 reply)

c'mon now
despite working at places like Ibrox and Parkhead - the only places you find trouble for us lot (as I was once) are these damn festivals in the city centre. Even T in The Park is generally trouble free - boring for security staff really
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Sat 6 Jun 2009, 23:31, closed)