Scramblers
It was about 01:00 on a saturday morning in Belfast city centre. A friend of mine was talking to a woman, when a spide (N. Irish chav) sped past him on his moped, almost sending the girl flying. It was just outside a chinese restaurant in a particularly crazy part of the city, Shaftesbury Sq. All the bars in the area get let out at once and it is bedlam. The spide stopped a short distance up the street, where his mates were laughing like a pack of hyenas. My friend shouted "Try that again you wee wanker and see what happens." He sped towards them again, but my friend stepped calmly to the side, grabbed him by the collar, and lifted him off the moped as it continued, driverless, down the footpath. The spide landed on his back. My friend lifted his crash helmet visor, dumped his skelping hot gravy chip into his face, and closed the visor again.

I wept.
(hmsmajesty, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 0:25, 10 replies)

Welcome
I like that story. I did read it in a proper Ulster accent, which helped.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 0:46, closed)

this really happened. honest.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 3:50, closed)

if you feel the need to publicly doubt the veracity of individual qftw posts
you're going to have a fairly busy time of it
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 7:43, closed)

n00b

(username failed moderation, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 8:29, closed)

Troo dat.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 8:35, closed)

Who cares
It's funny. and I learnt a new word.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:07, closed)

Ok, it was a honda accord

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 16:09, closed)

shh

( 4Q just lurking, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 21:31, closed)

I like this.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 13:30, closed)

I know it sounds made up, but it happened. The side step was maybe not as Anderson Silva as I made it out to be, but he did trail him off his moped, open his visor and bury his eyes in hot gravy chips.
(hmsmajesty, Sat 16 Mar 2013, 1:35, closed)