Aardvark
Not entirely on topic but close enough:

I was waiting for a band (The Melodics) to begin playing upstairs in a bar on Brunswick Street, Melbourne. I was surrounded by people I had only met that night. Friends of a friend.

Feeling somewhat bored and remembering a game I used to play with my brothers and sisters to pass the time 'back in the day' I decided to introduce these people to the time waster that is the game 'Aardvark'.

Before I progress further I should just explain what kind of people these 'friends of a friend' were:

Exhibit A: Girl, artistic type. Incredibly compulsive when buying shoes - must buy two exact same pairs, different colours. Then mix-and-match them like odd socks (will also wear odd socks). Has a strange affinity with brightly-coloured scarves and stockings as well as gaudily patterned clothing.

Exhibit B: Guy, metal-head. Long hair, loves showing off that he can scream with the ferocity of a hyena and can produce many echoes bouncing off open farmland. Swears by Opeth and musicals.

Exhibit C: Mousey-faced girl. Highly infectious laugh, slightly off-centre enthusiasm, refers to friends as 'super-duper' and known to say 'tiddly-dee potatoes' upon the slightest provocation.

There are more, but you hopefully get the idea that these people are open to suggestion. And by 'suggestion' I mean the crazier, weirder, and wackier it is the better it will go over.

So dredging up a childish game called Aardvark I threw it to them and they took it further than I could have imagined.

'Aardvark' is pretty simple... due to the inherent comedy in the name 'aardvark', as a word substitution it works very well, almost too well.

For a solid two hours the entire bar was filled with word substitutions of entire musicals sung with most nouns being substituted for the work 'aardvark', literary passages dredged from the forgotten depths of depraved fantasies and deranged minds and re-arranged and re-written to feature the aardvarks, songs and snatches of prose all given the Aardvark stamp. You have never heard 'Phantom of the Opera' until you've heard it Aardvark-style.

You may be wondering why there has been no mention of films up until now. But yes, dear reader, there were:

One Flew over the Aardvark's Nest
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Aardvarks
A Tale of Two Aardvarks
Aardvarks of the Caribbean
Memoirs of an Aardvark
From Aardvark with Love
Aardvark of the Dead
Lord of the Aardvarks
Journey to the Centre of the Aardvark
To Kill an Aardvark
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Aardvark
Monty Python and the Holy Aardvark
...

You get the idea. After hours of this the band was ready to begin. Even if that night wasn't already special the band must have heard us and testing was done to the tune of '1..2..3..Aardvark'. It was a very momentous occasion.

Now go, fellow B3tans, and spread the Aardvark.

Oh yeah, Best Films Ever:

Snatch
Pulp Fiction
Casablanca
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(satellite blows, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 3:28, 1 reply)

You got the game so, so very wrong.
The correct word to substitute is rectum. That then makes it the funniest game in the world.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 10:01, closed)