Zardoz
Now, when people think "Sean Connery in a pair of red pants induced to stow away in a huge flying stone head that spews guns in order to break the monotony of an immortal, yet eternally bored race of hyperadvanced twats with his powerful gun and penis combination," they probably usually follow it with "sounds awesome," but Zardoz is a pretty big exception to that rule.

It starts off weird and hilarious, but quickly gets tiresome and rubbish. Most of the footage shown seems to be a bunch of hyperadvanced twats talking in some kind of backwards speak as if it means something, or closing their eyes in a big circle and making noises.

I have no idea how long the film actually is, but let's just say that it helps you to understand just how boring eternity can get, which really gets you inside the heads of the characters and their motivations. For this last point alone, this atrocious film gets ten out of ten from me.
(Slurpy The Frog, Fri 18 Jul 2008, 20:30, 1 reply)

Oh wow
Totally with you there ... 10 of 10 for its utter shitieness..

I can still remember a bit at the end, when he nicks off with some bird and gets her pregnant.

In about 10 jump cuts - with a static camera - they grow old and the boy grows into a man and walks off the screen. For no reason at all!

A masterpiece of shit fimlmaking. Head and shoulders above the competition!
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Sat 19 Jul 2008, 0:16, closed)