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"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.
( , Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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Whilst at Uni in London, my friend Paul moved in to the recently vacated spare room at another mate’s house.
Before he could move his stuff in, he had to clear out the detritus the previous guy had left behind.
Whilst emptying the contents of the wardrobe into black bags, he found a rubber fanny wrapped up in a carrier bag.
Being the curious fellow he is, instead of instantly discarding it in the bin like a normal person, he decided to unwrap it and have a good look at it and to see how it works.
Whilst holding it up to the light to see how the vibrating mechanism was sited, a thick globule of old jizz rolled out of the rubber minge and dropped onto his face.
He claims not to have tried using it.
( , Thu 25 Mar 2010, 14:25, 4 replies)
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I have, in my time, used the phrase 'officelol'. You my friend, are the recipient of my first officeretch. Thanks a lot. Clicking 'i like this' has never seemed more wrong...
( , Thu 25 Mar 2010, 15:09, closed)
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Actually scratch that, I can't think of anything. Have a queasy click
( , Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:14, closed)
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Old spunk is not nice stuff, from distant memories of clearing small stacks of used condoms out of the girlfriend's bedroom bin. Once or twice there'd be a burster, and the smell of two week old cum is pretty much as bad as you'd expect.
( , Thu 25 Mar 2010, 16:29, closed)
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