How clean is your house?"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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The Pronk PrankYears ago when I lived in London, I shared a house with a mate from school (Mark), and two of his mates from university. The house was owned by a Dutchman named Fritz Pronk, who we never met.
Mark and I went off on a Lad's holiday with other pals from school, and after ten days of constant boozing (etc.) we were starting to focus on returning to the Big Smoke. Mark was a neat-freak and becoming increasingly troubled at the prospect of returning to a messy, dirty, untidy house.
So after several tequilas I found a phone-box (this is way before mobiles), called the house and put on a ridiculous Dutch accent:
"Hallo? Mr Pronk here. I think we are due for an inspection on (insert day we arrived back here), you will be ready for this, no?"
Voice on other end: "Err, sure Mr Pronk, no problem!"
"Well, that is good. Thank you so much. Goodbye!"
Hang up, collapse in hysterics.
"There's no way they'll fall for that, Mr Punch," said Mark.
When we got back the place was spotless and neat, they'd even cut the grass and done a bit of gardening.
Oh how they laughed when they realised their error. We only had to buy them all their drinks for a week, which worked out to be several times more expensive than getting a cleaner in would have been.
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MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 22:09,
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