How clean is your house?"Part of my kitchen floor are thick with dust, grease, part of a broken mug, a few mummified oven-chips, a desiccated used teabag and a couple of pieces of cutlery", says Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic. To most people, that's filth. To some of us, that's dinner. Tell us about squalid homes or obsessive cleaners.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 25 Mar 2010, 13:00)
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Milk.It's good for you, but only normally when it's fresh.
My final year student house was a lovely old thing, just two of us and it technically wasn't a student house anyway, so it had real furniture and neighbours that didn't hate us. But anyway, one day the milkman knocked at the door and asked if we'd like to sample his lovely milky wares, at a cheap rate for a week. Why not? So we agreed to about three pints a week. Roll on a couple of months, and we're clearly not using three pints a week - after all, milk isn't alcoholic - so it's starting to stack up a bit in the fridge. the whole door was full of unopened bottles, so we decided to leave the poor guy a note saying we'd reconsidered, and we'd like to stop the deliveries.
And still the milk came. A few more weeks pass, we leave another note. More milk arrives, along with a request for some money. Cheeky sod! So we pay up, hoping it's a final payment and some farewell milk, but no - more arrives later in the week.
Fast forward about 8 months. Milk is now the only content of the fridge, and it's also occupying the space on top of, and to the side of the fridge too. We must have 60 unopened bottles in varying states of seperation - brown liquid, white solid. Interestingly, the stuff on top of the fridge where it's nice and warm has decayed quicker, who'd have thought? But the fridge was now out of bounds, only a brave fool would open the door. The trouble is, it was coming up to moving out time, how on earth would we get rid of 60 rancid pints of milk?
Bless my mum, I've never asked much of her but when she phoned and offered to lend a hand cleaning the house, she didn't understand why I was so overjoyed. I hung around at the edge of the kitchen, retching for a while, then went out. When I came back, there were 60 crystal-clean milk bottles on the front path. Bless her indeed.
(, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:08, 1 reply)
milk men are dodgymy grandmas tried to cancel hers for a year now, they're worse than gym memberships
(, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:33, closed)
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