Yes I was A Fucking Student
and when I lived in a shared basement in the west of Scotland the guys I lived with decided that plates, cups etc lived on the lounge floor when the food was gone. So did Pizza boxes, MaccyD bags, kebab wrappers... The place fucking stank and you couldn't move for the shit and plates in the lounge. To make sure I had something to eat from I kept my stuff locked in my cupboard, ate from it washed it and returned it.

One night after working as a bouncer at a local pub, I got back after a particularly shitty night (Smackhead in the toilets, had to use a chair to pin him to the wall once we'd got him out, until he calmed down a bit and stopped trying to stab us with the pen he'd found in his pocket...) I returned to find that the fuckheads had broken into my cupboard, eaten all of my munchies and left my plates on the floor covered in the remains of a particularly nasty chicken kebab. I told them to sort it out and they paid me zero attention. I shouted at them to sort it out and they paid no attention. So I explained that if nobody wanted the plates etc then I might as well start getting rid of them. So, I picked up a plate and threw it at the wall just above their heads as they sat on the sofa. They started to duck and cover so I just threw them lower - great game, I could've got a job as a Clay Pigeon launcher, Easy!

After about 15 or 20 plates they gave in, noisily, and started clearing the remains into some hastily gathered black bags, then they spent the next 2 hours, on a friday night/saturday morning, cleaning the lounge until you could not only see the floor, but walk anywhere you wanted without stepping in rotten half eaten fast food.

I moved out a week later and at the end of the year I heard the little cunts all lost their deposits.

I'm just sorry I wasted all those plates - didn't hit them directly once! (There was however, a lot of shrapnel :0)
(hengushrh is found at the Dole office every second thursday, Wed 31 Mar 2010, 23:39, 6 replies)

To be honest, I'm surprised they waited until 20 plates had been hurled at their faces before actually doing anything, One would have got me moving probably!

I know what I'm like and have devised the perfect way to keep the kitchen clean in my student house - I own one plate, one bowl, one knife, one fork, one spoon, one saucepan, one frying pan.

To use anything again, I first need to clean it up, it works!
(The_Mighty_Spleen, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 0:58, closed)

Gosh, imagine what would have happened if one of the filthy cunts had made a mark on your Accord.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 7:15, closed)

You sound like someone I used to live with,
he did the exact same thing, and smashed a couple of dozen eggs on the walls too.
Except nobody had taken his food, he was just annoyed the place was a mess.
Nobody cleaned up at all for a month or two.
He was a crack-smoking furious-small-man-bodybuilder dick. You sound about the same. No offence!

Edit: I actually wrote about him on here: www.b3ta.com/questions/housemates/post379193 - Is this actually you?! It certainly wasn't in Scotland, but I realise that sometimes things on QOTW aren't true.
( Zuowan, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 7:29, closed)

Careful now.
He's probably one of those 6'2'' monsters that seem to infest QOTW.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 7:37, closed)

Hahahaha, good on you ! I bet they got moving pretty sharpish once you started dashing plates at their heads!
I could just picture it it.... *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer, *SMACK*, a little bit closer... MOVE MOVE MOVE. Hahahahahhaha.

Oh man, students are scum, the lot of them.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 8:12, closed)

I for one welcome our new plate-throwing overlord.
All hail Emperor Hamish!
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Thu 1 Apr 2010, 8:13, closed)