Retarded Middle Schoolers
Well, in 8th grade a bunch of my friends and i decided it would be fun to collect all of our unneeded school supplies from the year and burn them, in celebration of ending our last year at middle school. However, we realized that we had no place to burn the stuff. So we headed to a secluded part of a nearby park (only secluded from authorities, it was the unofficial stoner hang out spot).

In this area there were multiple, 8 foot high square cement structures about 5 feet on a side, with a bench jutting out and wrapping around each one. We decided that on top of the structure would be a great place to have our fire, since cement, obviously, doesn't burn.

We were burning our school supplies, papers and books, admiring the blue flame of burning colored textbooks, when i suggested seeing if rubber cement will burn. We decided to give it a try, and spread a thick trail all the way around the structure on the bench, and left a gap between the beginning and end, the end of which, we placed a beanie baby (you know those irritatingly cute little dolls filled with tiny plastic beads).

We lit the trail expecting the fire to spread slowly (we were unexperienced in pyromania). To our astonishment, the entire bench was aflame instantly. The fire was probably around half a foot high, much higher then the politely smoldering papers, and the beanie baby was releasing a pillar of black smoke. We, being the geniuses (geniusi?) we were, had neglected to bring water, but we had recently made a trip to the gas station and bought ourselves a case of mountain dew. We proceeded to empty our cans on the fire attempting, successfully, to douse the flames.

We then left in a hurry (before someone reported smoke to authorities) with our unburnt papers, leaving behind only ashes and a sticky burnt cement bench. Fun time was had by all.
(TSGarp, Fri 5 Mar 2004, 0:22, Reply)