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This is a question Have you ever started a fire?

I went to sleep with candles burning - woke up to a circle of flame on the rug. Thought, "Tits. Better put the rug in the bath and turn the taps on." TIP: Don't put a burning rug into a fibre glass bath. I caused about £5000 of damage to the house and was coughing up smoky black phlegm for a few weeks. Can you beat that?

(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:48)
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yes, several, but i have no interesting stories about them
although my brother once set a fire in the woods and, silly twunt that he is, threw a deodorant can onto it. He had no face for about a week

(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:18, Reply)
Ok, one more.
It was at another dump in Northern Ontario. I was playing with a BBQ lighter and thought it would be a great idea to start a matress fire. Matresses sure do burn fast. They were located next to a large pile of wood which was located next to a forest, it was forest fire season by the way. So I did was anyone else would do, I drove away quickly...by the way, the forest did not burn. If it had I would probably be in jail now.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:18, Reply)
set a friends hand on fire with the 'spray a pool of deoderant in middle of hand' thing. problem was he decided to put his sleeve over his arm and run around my house in a huge fireball hitting his hand on anything he could find to try and put it out. my parents were not happy having a ruined house and having to make a hospital trip.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:17, Reply)
When I was little we had oil fired central heating
And guess where an 8 year old TJ and his mate used to make little fires? That's right, under the oil tank for the central heating. The logic behind this location for fires? Well, between the breeze blocks supporting the the tank it was well protected from draughts of course! Luckily for us, my dad caught us the first time we tried this back-yard location and thus I am alive to tell the tale.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:15, Reply)
I haven't.... But....
When my brother was about seven, he used to read books in bed instead of going to sleep. My mum kept telling him off for it, so he decided instead of stopping, he'd cover his lamp with a t-shirt to dim the light so she couldn't tell it was on. The first time he tried this, he fell asleep reading and woke up to find his bedroom on fire. Needless to say, he always went to sleep when he was meant to from then on...

A fairly boring story, but it illustrates for all budding arsonists out there (and I know you're there) the fact that volatile liquids and naked flames aren't nescessary to start fires... ;D
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:15, Reply)
Started many, but will only mention one
I had a job where I had to take trash to a dump. I was hauling a truck load of old fibreglass urinals. I dumped the first load on what looked like a garbage bag with smoke coming out of it and went back for more. When I got to the dump there was a mountain of flames with black smoke going as far as the eye can see. I of course dumped the rest near the fire and drove away quickly
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:12, Reply)
The fire was happily contained, but...
I decided one day to microwave myself a baked potato. I put it in the microwave, set the time, and went off to play computer games. Later on, I heard a crack and I smelt smoke, and ran into a dim and smoke filled kitchen. As I ran to the back door, I looked to my left, and saw flames in the microwave! The potato had been cooking for nearly and hour, and it had turned into a small lump of charcoal, and was sat flaming in its ceramic bowl, which had cracked in half because of the heat! The microwave never worked again, but being fairly new, my mother blagged a new one from the store!
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:12, Reply)
I was a right bugger of a pyromaniac when growing up
and I have some wonderful scars to prove it.

Don't play with fire, kids.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:10, Reply)
I did go into a bakery once...
Somewhere in London. All I wanted was a loaf of bread.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:10, Reply)
I once put a half-nine bar in the microwave to soften it in order to chop it
I was a bit stoned and forgot about it. The strong smell of burning hash about 2 minutes later reminded me pretty quickly to remove it. I managed to salvage about half of it. What a twunt.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:09, Reply)
me, my brother and my mate james once thought it would be kool to start a fire in a field behind a big tree unfortunatly it was a hot and dry day and the fire spread
fire stats;
area damaged - aprox 2acres
fire engines needed - 2
time to put out - 34 minuets, roughly
comments from local official - "pointless vandals"
ok we were scared crapless from that and spent the rest of the day on the computer and showering to rid the smell of smoke
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:09, Reply)
Quite often.
The most famous was probably when me and a group of mates decided to try and start a fire near a field, we were camping and wanted to keep warm. Tip: If you're going to set fire to dry grass, put some kind of barrier up to stop it.

Christ, it didn't half go. We packed up the tent and legged it, with the flames still raging! I hope the West Mercia Constabulary don't read this!

The other notable time was a few years earlier, when myself and a mate were setting fires in my back garden. Only small ones. I decided to go in to the house and get a pint of water in case things went wrong.

When I came out, I was faced with the sight of my garden shed up in flames. My mate had only gone and poured white spirit all over the damn thing and set it alight! Bastard! Needed a bit more than a pint to sort that mess out!

Oh, and there was the time I created a 40ft fireball. My mate thought it'd be a cracking idea to put a deodorant can in a circle of flame, and then shoot the can from afar with an air rifle. Bad idea.

The first shot did nothing but ping off, but the second pierced the can, sending it shooting off into orbit, and catapulting a fireball 40feet into the air, awakening quite a few neighbours. My mate lost his eyebrows that night, idiot.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:08, Reply)
Well, I didn't...
But my mate Gary did. Spraying Physio Sport deodorant on a wooden windowsill then holding a lighter up to it is, ladies and gentlemen, not a good idea.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:08, Reply)
i set fire to my hand
when i was about 2

i thought i was a solid so leaned on our fire for support straight after my brother had done a few moments earlier so the ambulence was able to pick us both up
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:08, Reply)
I remember
when I was about 9 I started a fire in the house with some of those dried out flower thingys that were big in the 70's. I got up early and I was playing with matches near the fireplace. I heard my mother coming so I quickly put the match into the container with the dried out flowers.

It started to roar. Needless to say her boyfriend wasn't happy. But I was 9 and not his son, what was he gonna do?

not a fire but an interesting point: I also started a chemical burn on nylon fibre carpeting once by trying to clean a rather LARGE spill of super glue with Hydrogen Peroxide. There is now a permanent circular piece of plastic embedded in the carpet.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:07, Reply)
Arson tips for Spazzies!
Throwing fizzy drink onto a fire, is a big no-no!! When i was younger my mate and I were burning bits of paper in an ashtray, the flames were getting fairly high..so we decided to put it out by throwing cola on to the flames, - WHOOOOSH! The flames shot up all the way to the ceiling, and blackened the wallpaper - as you can imagine, my parents went nuts!
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:05, Reply)
Oh yes.
At the young and tender age of 9 years old I was fascinated with fire. My brother and sister were still at the age to be drinking baby milk, which came in huge metal tins. So I took an empty tin out to the back of the house, sneaking like a very sneaky thing past the kitchen windows to the bushes behind the house. Rhododendron bushes which the neighbours couldn't be arsed to cut down. So I filled my tin with leaves (it was a dry summer) and set fire to them. The fire kept going out. 'Bloody fine then', I thought to myself. I tipped the leaves out of the tin and wandered back to the house. Twenty minutes later the bush was in flames, so out I trotted with my tin again. This time filled with water. Eventually my parents noticed that I kept plodding past the kitchen window with a baby food tin, by which point the flames had engulfed the bushes. The old dears then saw the fire and made a swift phone call, causing the fire brigade to come out pronto to put it out. To this day my parents think that somebody dropped a cigarette on the dry grass which started the fire...
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:05, Reply)
When I was 12
my friend Andrea and I did the most disgusting thing. She pooped in a bag and we thought about setting it in front of our other friends door and lighting it on fire, instead we took it to her back yard and lit it on fire and watched it burn. Kind of lame I know. I've never really set a big fire, but I light candles a lot. I left one burning one night and woke up with wax everywhere, thankfully no fire thought.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:03, Reply)
Yep. Amateur stylee
me and a mate (let's call him kimball 'cause thats his name) took firelighters, balloons and butane out one night.

A 2 minute walk away from the local 5-0 HQ kimball filled two extra large balloons with butane while i made a makeshift flare with balloon, plastic tube, ground magnesium, and crushed firelighters...we then placed the flare in the ground, while i got kimball to kick the butballoons at the flare, dumb idea? Yep!

Both balloons hit the flare and in a second or less, kimball was surrounded in a 40 foot fireball.

He came running out for something to put the remaining stuff out...so i hid the expensive stuff (red cola...did you know you can't buy alcohol at 9am at night smelling of firelighters?) and gave him the cheap (free) water to put it out.

MORAL OF THE STORY : do not set off 40 foot fireballs near the local 5-0.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:02, Reply)
In my dad's shed...
...I wanted to see whether motor oil could catch fire. It did, in a plastic flower pot which exploded when I panicked and threw water on it to try and put it out. Don't do it kids!

Once I got my brother to lean over the hoover exhaust as I squeezed lighter refill gas down the suction end followed by a lit match. Wooomph! I gave him a tenner to quickly go and get his hair sorted out before the scrotes came home. I was young ok!
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:02, Reply)
God, this is like a hobby.
Parafin. Great stuff. We lit a relatively small bonfire at my mates house once, and because it so small he decided to throw a jar of parafin on it. BOOM! Singed Eyebrows. We set the whole field on fire because the grass was so dry.

I also burnt a whole in my carpet whilst making random cocktails. I tried to make one of those fancy ones with the flames on top, but used too strong booze and the glass exploded.

Kids, play with matches. Life's short anyway.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:01, Reply)
A few times
the one I remember most was because of the sheer idiocracy of it. I had just move to my current locale (Indiana) from Ohio and a friend of mine came with us to help move. We were hanging out one day while my parents were at work. We decided to have some fun and start a fire. Where did we start this fire? On the driveway? Nope. Backyard? Nope. Maybe the porch? Nope. then it must've been the street, surely? Nope. We decided to set the fire in front of the fireplace. Which in turn left a big black stain on the bricks in front of the fireplace, that is still there to this very day. Why we didn't at least start it in the fireplace nobody knows. Needless to say my parents came home, saw the blackmark and smelled the remains of smoke. I was in some big-time trouble for that.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 18:00, Reply)
There is very little I haven't tried setting on fire.

(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:58, Reply)
sorry, but when I was in uni halls someone passed out while smoking a joint and set fire to half the building.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:57, Reply)
this fuckwit deserves a mention, from today's Irish Times:
Petrol-bomber who set shoes on fire convicted

A man who attacked Crossmaglen PSNI station with a petrol bomb but only managed to set fire to his shoes was given a suspended sentence today.

Belfast Crown Court, sitting in Antrim, heard that Turlough Robert McAllister (29) was interviewed in November 2002 about the attack ten days previously and that he denied any involvement but officers noticed he was wearing the same scorched shoes.

The court heard that early in the morning of Saturday November 2nd, a very drunk McAllister drove his car to the gates of the station, parked and then threw a petrol bomb at it. He caused an estimated £250 of damage to the gates and managed to set his shoes on fire while getting back into his car.

Using the CCTV footage, officers were able to identify the car parked outside McAllister's home at The Square in Crossmaglen and arrested him.

Prosecution lawyer Mr David Russell told the court: "It seems that he wore the same boots to interview that he had been wearing on the night in question and there was evidence of accelerant on the foot wear". However, he said there was "no question" of McAllister being connected to any "sinister organisation".

Defence lawyer Mr James Kearney described the "motiveless attack" as being "amateurish in the extreme". He told the court McAllister himself had described his botched attack as "an act of lunacy" carried out while very drunk.

He pleaded guilty to a charge of throwing a petrol bomb and to one charge of arson and was given a 12-month suspended sentence.

(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:57, Reply)
I was at a youth group thingy
I was lighting some candles, and then decided to do the flick a match to light it trick. It went whistling through the air, straight into one of the leader's hair. Fzzzt! One lack of hair on the right hand side of her head. Oops!
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:57, Reply)
Used to start them as kids on the support stanchion of a suspension bridge in cork
we'd collect up flammable rubbish and set it alight (not enough material to damage the bridge though - it'd have to have somehow climbed 30 feet of concrete-clad stone to reach the wood anyway).

the game was to then try to get past the fire on the foot wide path around the base of the stanchion, without getting burned or falling into the river.

None of us died, so it can't have been that stupid - if you caught fire, you could fall in the river, and if you couldn't swim, the fire would jump in and save you. Yup.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:55, Reply)
I used to set fire to tissues
then run around while my fingers burned trying to put it out.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:55, Reply)
I've twice
set butter packets on fire while putting them in the microwave. And I've set marshmallows and Marks and Spencer's Curiously Strong Mints on fire.
My sister also once set her bin on fire after lighting candles. The match wasn't completely extinguished and now one side of her bin is melted.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:54, Reply)

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