Have you ever started a fire?I went to sleep with candles burning - woke up to a circle of flame on the rug. Thought, "Tits. Better put the rug in the bath and turn the taps on." TIP: Don't put a burning rug into a fibre glass bath. I caused about £5000 of damage to the house and was coughing up smoky black phlegm for a few weeks. Can you beat that?
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rob, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:48)
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This mornings TOP TIP1) Remove undergarments
2) Smear genital area with Marmite / Bovril
3) Engage family pet (preferrably Canine)
Hey-Presto instant blow-job / cunnilingus.
Please note - Vegemite is not recommended due to long term staining of skin.
Experienced users may wish to upgrade to the Salmon paste / Feline version. Beware of unpleasant odour and very rough tounge.
(
insignificantsnivellinglittleturd I Like Peas, Fri 5 Mar 2004, 10:28,
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