Have you ever started a fire?I went to sleep with candles burning - woke up to a circle of flame on the rug. Thought, "Tits. Better put the rug in the bath and turn the taps on." TIP: Don't put a burning rug into a fibre glass bath. I caused about £5000 of damage to the house and was coughing up smoky black phlegm for a few weeks. Can you beat that?
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rob, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:48)
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More Top Tips (From me not Viz)1)Canesten cream makes an ideal substitute for natural yogurt. Simply add 20ml to your desired dessert for that tangy taste. Also helps if you have a scaley knob.
2)Sausages make the perfect pen holders. Slide your pen/Pencil gently into the COOKED sausage, nip off the tip and stand it proudly at your desk. You'll be the envy of the office.
3)Dwarfs make the ideal pet.
4)When buying an Orange Laminated Chipboard Wardrobes, shop around.
5)Needles are sharp.
6)Chris Akabussi is a loudmouth wanker. Ignore him if confronted in the street.
(, Fri 5 Mar 2004, 11:27, Reply)
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