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This is a question First rude thing I ever saw

Our Ginger Fuhrer's young life was scarred by the discovery of an end-of-the-pier 'What The Butler Saw' machine and a jazz mag shoved behind a toilet cistern. Tell us about the first time you realised that there was more to life than sweet shops and Friday night TV

(, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:07)
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Not the first I saw, but the first time I was seen
My brother had got from some dubious magazine, a pack of playing cards where all were picture cards - of nice young naked ladies in various positions yawning away at me. So as an 11 year old I thought these would be great to show my mates at school.

My brother would not let me borrow them and as he was a big lad, six years older than me, the only way to get them was to wait until he went to work early in the morning. I would be home from school before he got back, so I thought this way I could have a short term loan of them.

Of course whilst showing them to the first kid, one of the Art teachers appeared from nowhere and shouted, "No Playing cards at school" and promptly gathered them up quickly without really looking at them. "Collect them from me at home time this afternoon" he said whilst walking away.

So I had the choice - go and ask a teacher for my porn back or get a kicking from my brother. I chose the teacher - mostly because he didn't know me and therefore I was hoping to be a soon-to-be forgotten misdemeanour. Also my brother was far scarier.

At 4pm I knocked on the staff room door. When he eventually came to the door I politely asked for my cards back. "Oh yes", he said with a poker face, "They were not exactly the sort of thing you should be having are they. Come back at the end of the week."

I guessed the cards were being passed around the staff for the next few days and then considered that if I went and asked again for them to be returned, there was no guarantee I would get them but other members of staff who did know me would realise I was the culprit. So I let them be and took my chances with my brother.

Luckily he never did say anything about his missing cards but for a long time afterwards, whenever I heard laughing in the staff room at school I wondered what exactly they might be doing.
(, Fri 12 Aug 2011, 23:19, Reply)

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