never use sauces or condiments without paying attention
or you may sabotage your own food, as i did, by squirting moisturiser onto chicken instead of the yummy salad cream from the squeezy bottle next to the moisturiser.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 22 Sep 2008, 22:50, 7 replies)

But...
...was the chicken soft and tender like a woman's hands?
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 0:14, closed)

i don't know
i didn't bloody eat it! fortunately, i was having drumsticks and only 2 of them got moisturised before i realised wht i'd done, so i was able to enjoy half my tea without the taste of aloe, cucumber and perfume-scented creaminess.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 2:19, closed)

Were you eating at a vanity table?
Or using the bathroom sink as a bowl.

Or am i the only one confused as to why you'd have moisturiser and salad cream next to each other.

Still silly though, and made me chuckle. cLick


Some kind of 'white liquid' squirting onto the breast or legs of a bird.
Whats going on there then???
(Mensa Reject has gone out, I'll be back on, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 1:21, closed)

i was eating in the living-room
i'd just shaved my legs and, as every girl knows, moisturiser is essential to prevent scaly legs. why sit on the edge of the bath to shave when you can fill a bowl with warm water and do it in the comfort of your own sofa, whilst watching t.v?

also, you have a dirty mind.
i like that ;)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 2:16, closed)

why would you squirt salad cream onto chicken
the clue is in the name, it's for salad ;-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 13:12, closed)

because
it's nice
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 19:07, closed)

In related news...
I got up early today and when I was getting ready in the dark (so as not to wake the missus) I managed to squirt fly spray on my armpits and not deodorant.

There's no flies on me...


just poison.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 13:45, closed)