The worst thing you can do to a person?
Last week, I returned home late from work to find that some motiveless maniac had raped and tortured my family with rusty razors before viciously slaughtering them with assorted gardening implements.

As I dropped to my knees to survey the atrocity around me I noticed that this vile, sadistic, soulless killer had left his blood-splattered wallet on the floor, which contained his driving licence, and therefore his full name and address.

I know I should have gone straight to the police, but I wasn't thinking rationally...and my mind was filled only with thoughts of purest revenge and hate.

So that very night, in the pitch blackness, I quietly broke into his house while he slept upstairs...and I'm afraid to say that in a fit of rage.....I went into his kitchen....and .......crushed all of his packets of crisps, whilst making it look like they were fine on the outside.

every.single.packet.

I then left, safe in the knowledge that for the forseeable future, every time he opened a packet he would be presented with nothing but a virtual wispy cloud of powdered crispy hideousness.


I think justice was done.




Before you all have a go at me...I know it was harsh and nobody deserves that...but like I said, I wasn't thinking rationally
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Tue 23 Sep 2008, 17:30, 6 replies)

You absolute bastard.
I've chosen to ignore your small print, as I think it's only right someone points out the error of your ways.

Hanging's too good for the likes of you.
( Moey, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 17:35, closed)

People like you make me sick
I'm tempted to resurrect your family just so I can kill them again in front of you to teach you a lesson you heartless bastard.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 17:45, closed)

...
How did you get past the old 'bursting pack syndrome' when crushing the crisps?

Whenever I really try to powder my friend's crisps the bag bursts and I am left with shards of razor sharp crisps in my eyes.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 17:53, closed)

It can be done
With a rolling pin, if you're careful to allow the gas back into the part you've just crushed after you've gone over it...
( MatJ LOOK, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 19:18, closed)

You
cunt.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 20:14, closed)

walkers must hate me
Last week I had three packs from a multi pack that were just air not even a hint of crispy goodness...
(roadkillontoast, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 21:29, closed)