Taking the Daz Challenge: A Tale of Feeble Revenge
I have two older brothers, and whilst I was growing up, the younger of the two was a horrid, smelly, bully to me. There was only one instance where I was pushed to the point of revenge...

One day when I was about 7 and he was 10, he politely suggested I test out his DIY zip wire which he had created between trees in our Dad's garden. Since he had tricked me by going up the tree to "check out the amazing view", then pulled away the ladder and ignored my crying and begging for the good part of an hour, I accepted his proposal.
However, as the zip wire's "handle bar" was simply a piece of plastic clothes line, it naturally snapped as soon as it felt the strain of my weight (and I wasn't even a chubby little urchin).
Whilst lying in pain and shock on the ground (and part of the ladder -ouch) I recalled something disturbing... Whilst I was hurtling through the branches I caught sight of my brother's face - which was lit up with a huge deranged grin and demonic gleeful eyes. That, coupled with the fact that he scarpered as soon as I touched ground led me to suspect that he did not hold much regard for his little sister's life...

So I decided that I would lightly poison him.
My Dad had brought me some sweets to console me after I "fell down" and whilst munching on them I hatched my plan...
I emptied the sherbert from a Sherbert Dib Dab and replaced it with Daz washing powder. Then I walked up to my brother and feigned feeling sick from too many sweets and offered him the sugary treat...
Watching his face contort and seeing the congealed bluey-white gunk spew out of his mouth whilst he retched was HIGHLY satisfying! It was his own fault for ignoring the lollypop and tipping the sherbert straight down his gullet...

Looking back I feel it was an inadequate attempt at revenge, but at the time I thought Daz to be fairly toxic - even fatal.

Oh and to get revenge on my revenge he put me in a suitcase and rolled me down the stairs. For some reason he decided to shove a clock into the suitcase with me- not really sure why. Ah well- great days!

We're now good chums but he still likes to bring up my attempt at "murder by poisoning"- pah.
( awayfromthenumbers, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 13:41, 11 replies)

Excellent!
Have a click!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 13:42, closed)

I really like this story
a lot

I was horrible to my little sister to the point that after I smacked holes in to her bedroom door with a cricket bat she waited until I slept and stabbed me in the leg with a kitchen knife.
( Peej, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 14:10, closed)

Fucking hell
My brothers and I used to fight quite a lot, but leg stabbing with a kitchen knife?

Seems a little extreme.
( Moey, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 14:37, closed)

My brother
shot me in the arse with a rifle.

Beat that, bullying fans!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 14:38, closed)

Mine
killed me, chopped me up and sabotaged the Sunday roast by replacing the leg of lamb with a leg of me.





*is bored today and highly likely to exaggerate a bit, even if it contradicts previous replies*
( Moey, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 14:46, closed)

Well that's nothing!
My older sister used to make me get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed. Make me drink a cup of sulphuric acid, then make me work twenty-nine hours a day down the mill, and make me pay the mill owner for permission to come to work. When I got home, she would kill me and dance about my grave singing Hallelujah.


WARNING: Story may contain content stolen from Monty Python.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 15:08, closed)

And you try and tell the young people of today that ...
...they won't believe you.
(Musuko, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 15:08, closed)

I don't know...
... a 1 Wood to the face was the extent of brotherly love that I got. I feel kind of left out now.
(Nimrod's Son Boredom provokes some interesting habits..., Wed 24 Sep 2008, 15:09, closed)

I used to share a room with my brother
I woke one night to him weeing on me.

Nothing worse than waking up tired, wet, smelling of urine... and that urine not being yours...
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 16:36, closed)

I sincerely hope
he was sleep weeing?

While sharing bunk beds I awoke one night feeling very sick, rolled over and proceeded to direct an arc of vomit at my brother's head as he slept soundly on the bed below.

He wasn't happy. No sir. Not one bit.
( Moey, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 16:50, closed)

you
made me real lol
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 25 Sep 2008, 4:43, closed)