Mild twatty sabotage
While working on the deli counter at a supermarket, the name of which sounds like making a flower not get what it wants, we got up to some shenanigans. We never actively poisoned anything, and by and large people were nice, both sides of the counter. But being 17 and bored, stuff just happened.

We found out that if you stir quite a lot of the jelly off of the top of chicken pate into chicken vindaloo, no one notices. At all.

More often than not, the chickens had been used as horrendous meaty glove puppets before we cooked them.

Me and another guy who worked saturday mornings had an ever escalating, but entirely good natured meat war. We started off throwing little bits of meat at each other. This soon progressed to whole slices of whatever we had been cutting, then ham knuckles were thrown at each other. Strangely, it went down a notch in size, but upped the ante so much when we started cutting the fat off whatever we had and weaponising that. I received a fistfull of ham fat down my back, but I got him back by ambushing him out the back and wedging beef fat into his ear.

Oh, and did you know, girls really don't like it when you peel off a tongue from the roll of pig tongues(yes there was such a thing) and chase them with them.

Length?I still don't get this in-joke, as I am still a new spazz, information appreciated.
(guyver Only Misanthropy Man can save us now!, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 16:55, 3 replies)

Yes!
I used to work on the deli at my local supermarket when I were wee. Those tongues were revolting, and taking slices off them with the big spinny disc made my face go numb.

As a result of my experiences I very rarely buy anything from deli counters anymore.

"the name of which sounds like making a flower not get what it wants". I have no idea what this could be.
( IHaveABadFeelingAboutThis most likely working from home on, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 17:39, closed)

Maybe i was a little obscure
Fuck it,it was waitrose. I don't work there any more, so who cares really
(guyver Only Misanthropy Man can save us now!, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 17:49, closed)

Name of supermarket
Waitrose? Am I right (Well done if so). EDIT - GIT just too late

Good times I think are had by all in supermarkets. Back in the day I had an ongoing war with a friend of mine; it usually resulted in hurling frozen meat at the other holding a frozen trout in some kind of horrific meat-baseball type thing.

There was also the time another friend of mine brought a multipack of 7 penguins for his lunch (the chocolaty type, not the fish consuming type) and for no particular reason I snapped each and every one of them into three pieces, didn’t make them inedible... just annoying.
(The_Mighty_Spleen, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 17:51, closed)