My tepid groin is a bundled mass of withering eardrums....
Backstage everything was buzzing along as normal when suddenly, and with a bang the stage doors flew open and Wanderlei charged into the room swinging the door shut behind him.
"Where Dana?" he screamed "WHERE DANA!"
Dana was sat in his office on an imported Japanese leather chair, casually spinning around on his heels. The glare from his Macbook filled the room along with the smell of stale booze and Dana's huge personality itself.

His door clattered open.
"Hey Wanderlei, how've you been? Have you seen the doctor?" Dana offered.
"I don't want to be cut!" screamed the hulking Brazilian, "Don't want to be cut again!" he heaved.
Dana, knew why he was worried, Wanderlei had lost his last three bouts, and though he always put on a good show for the crowd, Dana had begun to suspect that where once lay the granite of Wanderlei's chin, now sat an easy access button, ready to be pressed by his opponents and all too ready to be exploited.

As much as he acted the 'tough mouth' around the press Dana cared about the safety of his guys, perhaps more than anything else. "Look Wanderlei..." Dana began, "we all have an expiration date-" suddenly Wanderlei interrupted "DON'T CARE! I WANT ONE MORE FIGHT!" he was heaving now, and to be perfectly honest, Dana was terrified.
"OK, OK Wand" pleaded Dana, "we'll get you one more fight, who do you want? Chuck? Forrest? Rampage?" all of these were good answers for our stout customer, and each one presented different challenges...
"Want to fight car!" shouted Wanderlei in his Sao Paulo drawl...
"who the hell's Carr?" countered Dana.
"NO!" shouted Wanderlei "want to fight car in ring, want to fight Peugot 309 for championship!"

Dana leaned forwards and placed his hands on the floor at shoulder width apart and lurched his whole body into the sticky air, raising up onto his hands so his legs dangled in the air like the legs of a wobbly frog. He reached into his trousers with one of his gnarled feet and pulled his lad out into the cool night air for all to see.
Then, without so much as a word he darted towards the door making turkey noises, gobble gobble gobble, still running on his hands, at tremendous speed, legs akimbo, his boy bouncing in the breeze.

"That was three long years ago" whispered Wanderlei tenderly "..but there's not a moment that goes by that i don't think of that wonderful man."
Dana nodded in agreement.
Everyone looked confused...
(jindodsdadsdogsdead I am not stusut79, Fri 7 Aug 2009, 18:42, 1 reply)

Heh
Could always try Anderson Silva now he's gone up to light-heavy...
(solindiges Cheap - but not as cheap as your girlfriend., Fri 7 Aug 2009, 23:51, closed)