Anchient relatives
My Gran had been really ill with cancer, and has come home to die basically. Everyone in the tiny village we live knew that she'd died and so on my way to school all my mates were asking me how I was without actually saying 'We know your Grans dead'.I eventually turned to one of my mates and said 'You remember how yesterday i had two Gran's? well today i only have one,' The look on all their faces was as if I'd shit on the table in front of their mother.'what?' i replied ;There's nowt wrong with a sense of tumour?' I have a habit of saying innapropriate things during times of great stress. Last year my Mum and dad split up, and they told me and my bro on april 3rd. he first thing I thought to say was 'Hold on, i thought April Fools day was a coupla days ago' this split seriously fucked my bor up because he'd just been dumped by his bird, and he thought that womankind was out to screw him up he was whingeing on during a phone call 'I can never trust another woman again' I said' So can you take pain then?' 'what are you on about' he replied 'Well if you cant trust another woman you might as well go gay and take it up the arse'. he hung up.
(Lord Monkey of Yorkshire,OBE killed a gipsy on...., Wed 21 Apr 2004, 23:44, Reply)