Roasted Pea.
Now a fair few years ago I was dating a girl. We were taking things slow, on behalf of the fact she'd been seriously hurt in a former relationship, and had a 12 year old son. Things were going swimmingly. Weekends at hers, weekends at mine. We settled into a routine as you do when in a relationship.

We'd had a great day, shopping, pub lunch, then back to hers for a few beers, food and an early night.

Lay in bed, starting to dose, facing away from me, she says 'I love you' I was feeling the same way, but we'd not yet said it. So foot in mouth situation was that I laughed, farted, and had a very cold shoulder for the rest of the weekend.

Not pearoast. I feel awful about this one - I feel guilty for even mentioning it on the interweb.

A very close friend from school finally decided to add herself to the evil that is bookface. She was my best mates first love, in every sense. She always had long hair, always looked after herself, now in her photo she has really cropped hair. One of the first things I was going to say was typical foot in mouth. Your hair looks a bit carp. We hadnt spoken for years so I decided to for once be a gentleman, and put it down to a bad hair day and an angry hairdresser.

It was soon after, I found out she'd had cancer.

Thank you brain, for once you saved me!
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 16:57, 3 replies)

"Your hair looks a bit carp"
You mean, she had a mullet?
( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 16 Aug 2012, 17:11, closed)

I see what you did there...

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 16 Aug 2012, 21:50, closed)

"starting to dose"??
You young people need to stop eating drugs and get a job! Have some respect, you slimy Jews.
(judgetheobscure used to sweep in butchers' shops., Sun 19 Aug 2012, 3:09, closed)