I found flares
Not the trousers, but the bright, burning projectiles traditionally used to signal distress at sea and attract the attention of heat-seeking missiles.

I was walking to school and they were lying by the side of the road. It was a row of five tubes in a plastic casing, with a sliding trigger on the side. Olive green, so presumably it was military.

I did what any sensible schoolboy would - stashed them for later. We took it down the park after school and gave the responsibility of firing them to the most irresponsible child, then stood well back.

Nothing happened.

It was a disappointing end to an exciting day. The appointed gunner took them home, promising to remove the flares from their casing with his dad's tools. He wasn't missing any body parts the following morning and gave various excuses for the whereabouts of my impotent flares. Despite his earlier bravado we assumed he got nervous and threw it away.

I just hope he discarded it in the road for someone else to discover.
(Happy Harry Hard-On is naked and wearing only a cock ring, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 17:13, 2 replies)

It's all coming back now
I found a stick of gelignite at a road construction site once. Being a sensible young Redemption I decided not to bring it to the attention of my half-assed acquaintance Pete and left the damn thing where I found it.
(Redemption blamed it on the Bossa Nova since, Sun 9 Nov 2008, 9:16, closed)

Mini-Flares!!!
You need to slide the launcher out and screw it onto the threaded end of one of the cartridges stored under the plastic flap (opposite side from the firing handle), then pull the cartridge out, aim away from you (up pref!) then pull back and release the sliding trigger.. Good fun, but not as good as Flash-bangs. "BATTLE NOISE SIMULATOR - LARGE" The legend on the side was almost as much fun as setting it off!
(AndyC4m Eject Eject [><], Tue 11 Nov 2008, 13:22, closed)