Having been a pallbearer at a funeral I can tell you that coffins are extremely heavy when full of dead person.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 14:37, 8 replies)

Couldn't agree more
Carried my mum into the crematorium, things came within an ace of going very badly
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 14:45, closed)

You had six others to help you with it though.
And anyway she wasn't dead, only sleeping - she woke up when that prince kissed her.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 14:47, closed)

No kidding
My gran was tiny, and hadn't been well leading up to her death so was even tinier than usual. I, conversely, was training in a rowing crew at the time and could have comfortably supported 100kg on my own shoulder so you can imagine my surprise when the six of us staggered somewhat taking her out of the hearse. What was that coffin made of?!
( pineapplecharm D d M Y, H:i, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 15:51, closed)

What she didn't tell you
is that she was buried with all that pirate treasure she'd had stashed under the floorboards.
(rogerzilla, Sun 14 Apr 2013, 20:54, closed)

Yeah your mum was pretty fat.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 16:10, closed)

Dead weight.

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 11 Apr 2013, 17:38, closed)

Fat corpse
Try carrying your enormously fat uncle when all of the other pallbearers are a good 6 inches shorter than you. My shoulder was in tatters for 2 months after.
(KDeath, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 10:08, closed)

It wasn't the weight that bothered me
it was being able to feel the corpse shifting around in the coffin that was most unexpected.
(richardm, Tue 16 Apr 2013, 11:59, closed)