There used to be two funeral directors near me called "Bakers" and "Skinners". What a choice!
Now Bakers' daughter has apparently married, so the company owners' names are "Bakers and Tanners".

I think there's a Cooks, too.

Afterthought: why do funeral directors offer an "Emergency Service"?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 10:24, 8 replies)

They offer an emergency service
so that if someone croaks over dinner your food doesn't get cold.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 15 Apr 2013, 10:28, closed)

Having been lucky enough to avoid arranging any funerals myself
my impression of funeral directors is 90% formed by the American TV show Six Feet Under.

It would seem the emergency service/24 hour availabity is due to random distraught relatives wanting their loved one's funeral arranged as quickly as possible (I don't know how long an 'unprepared' body stays undecomposing in a morgue), or because there's disagreement within the family over how the dead person should be sent off and doing it at 3am is an excellent way to avoid the other people in the family.

Or maybe the death was really sudden and the family wants to get the arranging over and done with?

(I have no idea.)
( Bats, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 11:06, closed)

I'm guessing
the emergency part is less to do with the actual funeral, and more to do with coming and collecting the body.

When Gramps pops his clogs at 3.00am, I don't suppose Gramdma is going to roll over and grab a few more hours of kip, with a resigned "might as well, the funeral place isn't open till 9".
(username failed moderation, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 11:45, closed)

Ambulance Service ambulances are not properly equipped for transporting corpses.
Once clearance has been given by the police and the coroner, the body is removed to the mortuary by an on-call mortuary service in a van marked 'Private Ambulance'
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 15:08, closed)

Sounds about right.
When my stepfather died last year at about 6am, by the time we got to my Mothers about 4 hours later, he had already been taken.
(username failed moderation, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 15:23, closed)

Roughly by a gang of degenerate City bankers?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 16:21, closed)

Well, I wasn't actaully there
so I can't say you're wrong, but . . .
(username failed moderation, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 17:17, closed)

Yes, all right, I know really.
It just struck me that it was a bit late to use the word "emergency" by the time you need a meat wagon...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 15 Apr 2013, 17:01, closed)