An egg too far
Many years ago, on the way home from a night on the sauce, my friend Ollie suggested that, instead of the customary bag of chips, we should go for the three-egg-challenge. That is, for the uninitiated, three Cadbury's Creme Eggs at the same time. And no chomping until they're all in.

So we stop off at the corner shop and I go first, in the misguided hope that this is going to impress our rather cute blonde friend, C. One, two, three, in they go.

"That was easy" I splutter, or rather "thaaawaassshhheezzii".

"Bet you can't do four" Ollie replies, the cock.

Alcohol, lust and chocolate conspire inside me and I accept this ridiculous challenge. To a reticulated python or professional fluffer, it might have been a possibility. I am neither and this is not going to pretty.

"Such a thing has never been done before" says the shopkeeper in his best Apu-impression. But I am undeterred. I shove the fourth one into my gob and stagger triumphantly out of the shop just as the back egg explodes and spluffs a huge load of fondanty goodness down the back of my throat, immediately followed by similar spunkifications from its three fellows

As I leave the shop, a car pulls in alongside me - "Scuse me, mate can you tell me how to get to XXX?".

I lean terrfiyingly into the car. With my horrible, distended mouth, I look like Wallace after an extended session of bukkake and coprophagy.

"Nnneeexxxrrrighpaaaasshhtthepaarrk" I honk, dribbling chocolate between the comely norks of the girl in the passenger seat. They drive off fast.
and I wave them off, cackling like a mong.

No, it didn't impress C. either.
( MacCruiskeen, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:29, 8 replies)

If this doesn't win
I bet you I can eat five
( flatfrog Staring vacantly into space, Fri 8 May 2009, 12:38, closed)

That
is fucking great - have a click, mate
( SpankyHanky, Fri 8 May 2009, 13:16, closed)

A clickie for you sir
If only through the use of the word spunkifications to describe something
(Khalek finally logged in again on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:17, closed)

I look like Wallace after an extended session of bukkake and coprophagy
I can see this perfectly and am going to laugh like a loon all day.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:21, closed)

^This
Have a click.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Fri 8 May 2009, 15:46, closed)

Have thee a click good sir!
for you have provided me with a full five minutes of quiet office-lols. It's more the mental imagery than anything...
(berk, Fri 8 May 2009, 16:08, closed)

Outstanding!
Th best sex/cadburys creme egg mash up I've ever heard. Click!
(TAZ220 Not giving a toss since, Sun 10 May 2009, 21:45, closed)

Why Sir...
... you would appear to have made me "lol" in a braying manner, attracting a variety of condescending looks from my colleagues.

Allow me to *click*
(Rotimer was micturating windward at, Tue 12 May 2009, 14:07, closed)