From working in a Bookmakers.
About ten years ago, I worked in a small office of one of the larger bookmakers. From that time, there's a few tips I'd share with you to make your betting experience a better one.

- DON'T BET IN A BOOKMAKERS. Seriously, if you were buying a computer or something, you'd compare prices online, find the cheapest and then get it delivered. You wouldn't go to Currys and pick one in there, so why would you do the same with a bet? Decide what you're going to bet on, look at a few major sites, find the best odds and place your bet there. OddsChecker is a good site to shop around with.

- BET ON WHAT YOU KNOW. You'd think this would be an obvious one, but the number of people who came into the shop and didn't follow this was astounding. They'd come in at opening time, and place bets on whatever was running on the screens - horse racing, dogs, golf, football, whatever. A bet's essentially you pitting your knowledge against the bookmaker, so you want as much of an advantage as possible.

- DON'T BACK IF THE ODDS ARE BAD. If you think that half the time the team you're backing will win the match, and the odds are 4/5, then don't place the bet. You think it's going to come in one out of every two times, then less than evens (1/1) is a return that is worse than your prediction. Easier way to think about it is with a coin flip - the bookie is telling you that if the coin comes up heads you give him £10, but if it's tails he'll give you £8. See why it's dumb to not think about if the odds match your predictions?

- BET WITH YOUR HEAD, NOT YOUR HEART. I don't care if you're a fourth generation Wolves fan, you'd still be an idiot to put any money on them winning the Premier League next year. Relates to the above, if it's less than thousands and thousands to one for something that unlikely, then it's a dumb bet.

- THINK ABOUT ALL THE OUTCOMES. Number of bloody people who do this. If you back Newcastle to win tonight with one bookie, and Middlesbrough to win tonight with another, you can almost guarantee that the match'll be a draw. Don't be that idiot, think about everything that can happen.

- KNOW THE RULES. This is something that applies mainly to in shop betting, as most sites will cross check bets automatically, but it's not impossible for something to happen. Gambling debts are not legally enforceable, and the wagers are covered by the bookie's own rules. You'll find there are rules surrounding things like related contingencies, which is the main one. A related contingency is where the first bet in an accumulator affects the second one - like if you'd placed Barca to beat Chelsea in the semi-final, and Barca to win the Champions League before the semi. The odds at that point for Barca to win the whole thing are a combination of them winning the semi and the final, so putting that in an accumulator with them to win the semi would be in effect having the same bet twice in the accumulator. Don't think that if you get this past the assistant in a shop you'll get paid out on it either, there's also normally a rule that covers palpable error. If the shop assistant makes a mistake in taking your bet, then the bookie doesn't have to pay out.

- KNOW WHAT YOUR BET IS. Kind of goes with the above, but make sure you know what you're backing. Using the Champions League matches again, check to see if you're backing the result at 90 minutes, AET, for the full tie, or whatever. If you're betting in a shop, make the slip very, very, very clear. Because if you aren't, you run the risk of it being interpreted in some other way - a 90 minutes bet on a draw being settled as an AET draw when one team's won for example.

- STAGGER YOUR ACCUMULATORS AND LAY OFF. If you're putting together an accumulator, try to avoid having every result coming in at the same time. I'll use football as an example here because it works very well for it. If you place a £5 accumulator with four matches kicking off on a Saturday afternoon at 3pm, you're dependant on all four coming in at the same time, and have no control. However, let's say you have an accumulator with a Friday evening match, a Saturday afternoon and evening match, and one on Sunday. The Friday and Saturday results all go your way, and now you've got a £67 pay out riding on the Sunday result to win. You know what you do? No, you don't bloody pray for your team to win, you back the draw and the other team. If the odds for that are evens and you put £10 on them, you're going to be up either way. This is called laying off, and it'll save you money in the long term.

The last two are pretty simple, but are probably the most important. Take these with you if nothing else.

- THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT, NOT A MONEY MAKING ENTERPRISE. Working in that bookies, I reckon there were possibly three or four regular customers out of around 100 to 150 who actually made money. These were people with massive amounts of knowledge on the subjects they bet on, one was an ex-golfing pro for example. They weren't the average person walking in off the street. Again, it's pitting your knowledge against the bookmaker, that's all.

- DO NOT BET WHAT YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE. This is the saddest one to see people not following. Please don't go to bookies and put down money that you need to pay your rent, even if you know it's a sure tip that your mate gave you. What if this is the one time that it doesn't come in? Don't be the person who's standing there shell shocked, staring at the monitor after seeing the easy money favourite fall after they'd put the deposit for the flat you and your fiancée are buying on it (saw this). Set your limits and stick to them.











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Couple of bonus semi-gambling related ones.

- DON'T EVER START PLAYING FRUIT MACHINES. Horribly addictive flashing lights and noises, with a sign on them telling you they will keep 30% of your money. I wish I had never ever played the damn things. Start playing them and you run the risk of putting money back in after winning £15, because you just really need to get that jackpot and see the lights all start flashing, really need to see it. Horrible, horrible things. Manage to go cold turkey for months at a time, and then end up playing one in a pub to kill time and get sucked back in. I need more willpower.

- IF YOU ARE EVER 14 YEARS OLD AND FIND A CHANGE MACHINE IN AN ARCADE ON A FERRY THAT WILL GIVE YOU £20 OF CHANGE WHEN YOU PUT A £10 NOTE IN IT AT EXACTLY THE TIME THE DISPLAY SHOWS WHAT YOU GET IF YOU PUT A £20 NOTE IN, THEN KEEP CHANGING THE COINS BACK UP FOR NOTES AT EVERY SINGLE SHOP ON THE FERRY AS LONG AS YOU CAN. Couple of us ended up coming home from that French exchange with more money than we took. Wheeeeeee...!
(MattWPBS, Mon 11 May 2009, 16:46, 8 replies)

*copies, saves*
*bookmarks*

*clicks*
( weaver., Mon 11 May 2009, 17:11, closed)

Good advice
Fruit Machines are evil.
( scoshi pretending to diet since, Mon 11 May 2009, 17:15, closed)

Fruit Machines
Turns out someone I hadn't seen for a while managed to 'spend' 40k on the fruit machines when he moved up north 'cos he was bored. He came back after 18 months, turns out the missus wasn't all that impressed.
(Benzyl, Tue 12 May 2009, 3:14, closed)

Too bad I don't gamble cause that all sounded like really great advice
However I did grow up across the street from a lady who made her living off playing bingo.

Fucking bingo!

Luckiest woman I've ever met.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 12 May 2009, 5:01, closed)

No...
It's a very, very good thing you don't gamble. Like I said - about 3 or 4 people out of 100-150 who I reckon made money.
(MattWPBS, Tue 12 May 2009, 11:01, closed)

Very good advice there, thanks
*click*
( Occulus Swallowed, instead of spat, on, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:02, closed)

just highlights the fact
that I know so little about how old that shit works that I'm right not to ever ever go into a bookies, or gamble online.

I don't like leaving things that much to chance, so my brain prevents me from getting enough of an understanding to let me do it.

poker on the other hand....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 12 May 2009, 9:41, closed)

Damn straight
Pokers a game of skill. And luck. Dumb fucking luck.


Bloody love poker, I do.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Tue 12 May 2009, 10:48, closed)