Hollister
The other week I was in town trying to buy some jeans. Easy enough, Topman, Burtons, H&M or Republic are bound to have some to my liking. Did they bollocks. They were either skin tight (I'm not a porker at all), had pre-ripped holes, things hanging off of them or marks that made it look like someone had used them to wiped away the remains of a gentlemans wrist adventure*. How hard can it be to buy plain ordinary jeans that don't cost a small mortgage these days? Very, apparently.
Someone suggested I try a store that had recently opened in town called Hollister so off I went.

I lasted less than five minutes (as y'mother has probably already told you)

The music was booming over the speakers so much I couldnt hear the music I was listening to on my ipod, the lights were so dark you couldn't see if something was black, dark blue or even clothing so I found myself shouting at some poor sod "I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT THIS WAS A CLOTHES SHOP NOT A DISCOTHEQUE" as I left.

It was on my way home that it struck me, I'm getting old for the following reasons
1 - who the buggering fuck uses the word discotheque anymore?
2 - I had a cardigan and my glasses on
3 - I was looking forward to going home for a good sit down down with a nice cup of tea while listening to radio four.
4 - I couldn't tell you a single son that's been in the charts for the last ten years except maybe Katy Perry and only then that's because of a friends little girl.

What makes it bad is I only turned thirty two five weeks ago.

What makes it worse is that the men in my family never seem to last past the age of fifty two. If that's also the case for me I was officially middle aged six years ago an will pretty much be a pensioner by my families standards in about two years time.


*i got that phrase from someone off here but I'm buggered if I can remember who it was. Sorry about that.
(Official Sarc, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 15:46, 7 replies)

Discotheque is a wonderful word
It should be brought back.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 15:51, closed)

you're not old.
You're just a boring git.
( Airman Gabber Living life like a 70's BBC presenter, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 15:55, closed)

You're probably right. It's a sad state of affairs when instead of looking forward to rock and punk gigs I now look forward to the new episode of Just A Minute.
(Official Sarc, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 17:40, closed)

I went
in one of those shops with my daughter last year. Fucking awful place.

If you want to buy ordinary jeans, try Debenhams.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 11:42, closed)

Funnily enough I did and the one here in Brighton seemed to have all the expensive trendy shit like everywhere else.
I think what I'll do next time is find a pair I like and then buy loads of pairs to last me
(Official Sarc, Fri 8 Jun 2012, 13:31, closed)

Try Asda or Sainsbury's
They've got cheepo ones with no rips, holes or fake wear-and-tear, plus they're made from "proper" denim, not that nasty fashion stuff. Best bit is they're only five and six quid respectively.
(An eejit passing by in a purple satin skirt with sparkly bits, Sat 9 Jun 2012, 19:10, closed)

Proper denim? Y'mean the thick stuff not the pansy arsed 'put your knee through in one bend because they're than thin' type denim? Nice, I shall check them out.
(Official Sarc, Sat 9 Jun 2012, 19:28, closed)