I was walking into Uni the other day...
and low and behold guess who I get attacked by?

That's right, Christians.

Now, I went to a Methodist school for 14 years which only had the effect of putting me off religion for life. But what it did do was make me a very well informed atheist...something that god botherers hate to come against.

So,

As these smiling, jovial people with the twinkle of Jesus in their eye approached me I had a shifty glance at, first my watch to see if I had time to spare and second, at their hands for any reading material. God botherer's reading material is gold dust there's always something that a good, clear thinking non believer can rip into.

I was 15 mins early and they had leaflets. Success.

I smiled a smile that Judas himself would have been proud and graciously stopped and warmly held out me hand to recieve the deity document.

On the inside was the typical, "This is how you should live your life" clap trap. But what interested me was the outside cover...

Imagine, my fellow b3tards, a serene landscape with every ethnicity in God's good green earth merrily chatting and smiling away like nothing was wrong in the world. Then, as your eyes scan this utopia, you see something that shouldn't be...

A small child feeding grapes, to a bear.

Strange.

Without saying anything (yet) to the ever smiling jesus freaks still at my side I continued to scan...and, with muffled laughter I came across the holy grail (not literally)...

A man and woman offering, in what I can only describe as some kind of sacrifice, a infant girl, to a Lion.

Attempting to keep a straight face I asked the beaming imbeciles what the meaning of this picture was. This was followed by a rehearsed speach about unity and love which I was all too happy to cut short, tell them that they were a danger to society, should take thier fanciful preaching/propaganda elsewhere and adviced them to stay away from Zoos because apparently their perception of health and safety was slightly skewed.

And I made it to my lecture with time to spare. It was about soil, and it wasn't even half as fun as those precious few minutes with the God brigade.
(Sir David Von Chodesworth can't find any audiobook transcripts, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 19:39, 1 reply)

Stop spending your time on b3ta and write your essay!
I know who you are!

Have a click for a good story too.
( Anthropos Was making beer on, Thu 19 Mar 2009, 23:28, closed)