grand reveal
brace youself - it's a long one.

i have a mortal enemy. i may have mentioned him before. in my first year at uni, me and my roomie lived in the room opposite him. he was short, covered in a dense, matted layer of hair all over his body, acting as an insulator causing a foul B.O. stench of sour milk and garlic (caused by whatever foul thing he had cooked that day. he had no concept of personal space, was rude and lecherous, opinionated and psychotic. and, adding stereotype to injury, he was french.

i don't use the word 'hate' lightly. i hated him.

over the previous months, he had offended everyone i knew, hit on people in relationships, had a psychotic flip-out at my room mate followed by asking her to pose nude for him, tried to catch the girls coming out of the shower... you get the idea. enough was enough.

so, bit drunk in the corridor's kitchen one night, one of the lads suddenly leapt out of the window (bearing in mind, we were five stories up) began climbing along the precipice, and got into this guys room from his window. and let us all in... the plan being to have a rummage, and to get our own back in as many filthy ways as possible.

there were about eight of us, standing in this room, which had no personal effects whatsoever. nothing. it was genuinely frightening, but we were giggling, trying to get into the locked cabinet (why? no idea. we believed 'personal items' were involved. but why lock it in a locked room?), staring at the bare walls... until one of my friends, quietly but clearly says ' i think we need to leave'. something in his voice made us pile out of there sharp-quick.

what had he seen? a box by the bed, full to the brim of condoms. it was a pitiful and shameful sight, knowing full well this freakish, stinky creature was holding out such clear hope.

too far. and not in a fun way.
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Tue 14 Nov 2006, 11:56, Reply)