oops...
Too far? How far is too far?
Er…
Ok.
Mid 90s, myself and a bunch of friends got invited to a new yrs eve party, fancy dress and everything, the whole kit and caboodle. Being much into LSD at the time, I pocketed a couple of tabs, and scoffed them when the party started to kick off. About an hour later, I was outside, chatting to a very nice, very friendly young lady, who was giving out all the right signs. At this point, a chap known as Scrotey arrived . Young scrotey had been hanging around with me and my chums for a while, and in an attempt to ingratiate himself, had bought a motorcycle (the rest of us were die-hard mo’sickle riders) and proceeded to try to climb a tree whilst wearing a Yamaha. Sad, tragic even, as he’d broken his back and would spend the rest of his days in a wheelchair. I have as much sympathy as the next man, but Scrotey had been getting on everyones tits for months, behaving appalingly and then going for the pity vote – some still fell for it, most people had wised up and told him in no uncertain terms to sort himself out or fuck off. So, back at the party, I was getting along famously with the girl, standing outside with her, drinking, stroking hands etc, when there’s a terrific pain in my ankle. I look down to see the grinning face of Scrotey as he repeatedly rams his ‘chair into my legs, with the clear intention of stopping me copping off. I bent down, and hissed at him that if he did it once more, I’d have him out of his chair so fast his empty head would spin. To which his reply was “you wouldn’t dare, I’m in a wheelchair”.
Oops.
The inevitable happened; wheelchair-ankle interface scenario. So, excusing myself from the lady, I turned, hooked my foot under the footplate of his chariot, and lifted.
Despite the acid, the look of horror on his face that someone had actually had enough of his shit is etched upon my memory.
Unfortunately, the way he landed meant that he hit the ground on top of his colostomy bag, which burst…..

Perhaps too far.
length? the trail of unmentionable gak that scrotey left behind him after he'd been placed back in his carriage, that was about 40 foot...
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 13:16, Reply)