Going Too FarEver had one of your mates go too far? Back when I was a teenager I went to stay with a friend in the country. We took his dog for a walk in some woods - which was fun.
We came across a breeding pen for the local pheasant shoot - which was interesting.
But then my friend broke into the cages, grabbed a pheasant, strangled it and proceeded to throw it around, only managing to rescue it from his dog's jaws seconds before a gamekeeper turned up to see what the hell was going on. Now, that was a bit too far...
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chthonic, Fri 10 Nov 2006, 14:11)
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Ring of FireTime: Second year at Uni
Place: Flatshare in Hackney
One of my flatmates and bestmates had (in my view) a very unhealthy obsession with keeping his room neat and tidy. Not the kind of behaviour you expect from a 19 yr old bloke who spent his entire university career drinking, gambling and eventually ‘not completing his degree course’.
Anyway, he would go mad, if for example I went into his huge, lovely floor boarded room to fold his rug in a funny way or throw his carefully placed cushions onto the floor or leave his ‘famous pubs of London’ poster hanging by one corner.
One day, he brought back a beautiful house plant from some market and after proudly showing us all – spent the next 4 hours deciding in which corner and at what angle the plant looked best. The very next day the plant had died and all the leaves had fallen off, leaving him angry beyond words and us laughing like hyenas. Whilst he was in the pub/bookies I decided, as it was autumn, to pick up hundreds of leaves off the street and sellotape them to the pathetic leafless stump that was still in his room. This was really funny for about a day until we pinpointed the dreadful stench in his room to the leaves and realised they were covered in cats piss.
Still, not going too far – just the usual student horseplay.
What was probably going to far though, was my favourite way of annoying him which was to hold a lighter close to his huge paper lantern lampshade hung in the middle of the room. Although standard student issue, this was his pride and joy for some reason and I used to take delight in making small black marks on it with a lighter. I must have made about 20 such marks before the inevitable happened.
I could only watch with eyes like Garfield and a mouth like Jaws as the huge paper lantern burst into flames –– the thing went up like a fireball with the wire slowly uncoiling like a melting slinky and my mate screaming ‘what have you done you f*cker!? what have you done you f*cker!?’ in a voice like Joe Pesquale on helium. I thought the whole house was going to burn down around our ears.
It didn’t but my mate was never the same again.
A few years later, we found out he was gay.
Coincidence?
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browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 15 Nov 2006, 17:22,
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